Wednesday, January 8, 2025

Numb. 1264 Why DOES Elon Keep Sending Me Email?

Surely someone smart as Elon

would realize anyone as woebegon

and decrepit as I will not respond

to repeated offers for magical heaters

or miracle gizmo electric bill beaters.

How can Elon reach for the stars,

think about building best cars on Mars,

mold Donald into the first of our tsars,

still find the time to fill my inbox

with offers for gadgetry he says really rocks?

Could these emails not be truly Elon’s?

Phishing scams sent by third world peons?

If Elon did send them he must have his reasons.

You just gotta trust a man for all seasons.

I'd better answer and do it fast.

These things sell quick, supplies will not last.

Credit card number and CVV,

expiry date, okay, yessiree.

Exceptional deals. FOX News agrees.

And to think Elon chose them expressly for me .

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When young I voted Republican. Democrats? Union goons and Ku Klux Klan. Camelot Kennedy? Not my cup of tea. (Frankly, I thought it a scam. I was, by default, a Goldwater man.) Through Johnson and Nixon I lacked conviction. For Ford and Carter I couldn't bother. Then came Ronnie. The smarmy carny, hominy nominee. Time to change party! Bush, Clinton, Bush led to Obama which led us twice to our present trauma. (Ignoring here Joe Biden's years, which Trump, the disgrace, will erase.) Labor's diminished. Perhaps even finished. The Klan is a GOP brand. Anger predominates. A felonious reprobate holds country's fate in grabby hands. Still NOT a Democrat, although I vote like that. An increasingly frail, flailing old man. I proudly am an anti-Republican.

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