Surely someone smart as Elon
would realize anyone as woebegon
and decrepit as I will not respond
to repeated offers for magical heaters
or miracle gizmo electric bill beaters.
How can Elon reach for the stars,
think about building best cars on Mars,
mold Donald into the first of our tsars,
still find the time to fill my inbox
with offers for gadgetry he says really rocks?
Could these emails not be truly Elon’s?
Phishing scams from third world peons?
If Elon did send them he must have his reasons.
You just gotta trust a man for all seasons.
I'd better answer and do it fast.
These things sell quick, supplies will not last.
Credit card number and CVV,
expiry date, okay, yessiree.
Exceptional deals. FOX News agrees.
And to think Elon chose them expressly for me.
