Numb. 1263 Do Not Want Ads

Unemployed Syrian torturer

if wanted could be debaucherer

proficient in skills still in demand

could be trump card in the right hand

seeking safe place to emigrate

would prefer one-party state

————————————————————————————————

Soon to be freed political prisoner,

QAnon, MAGAthon, toxic FOX listener

cannot believe Donald's a liar

seeking position as climate denier

————————————————————————————————

Handsome,

ex-Congressman,

devastating debater

seeking job other

than busboy or waiter

willing to do

whatever comes next

will go on dates

pay teens for sex

————————————————————————————————

Highly desirable middle-aged former model

Experienced listening to infantile twaddle

stuck in relationship with know-nothing know-it-all

No interest at present in anything coital

Numb. 1262 Trump THAT!

What in heaven is wrong with Melania?

Channeling Jacqueline Kennedy?

Why do women let pigmen walk over them?

Paleolithic supremity!

Jackie is dead, but since the shoe fits,

Mel must be gifted Swift's Greatest Hits.

Donnie's response to E. Jean decision,

a TRUMP archetypical gripe,

“I don't rape anyone in ANY position,

if I do not feel there my type.

And I hafta say — NO ill-intent —

I gotta fuck 'em, they preconsent.”

If  Carter’s funeral gets bigger crowds

than Donald’s inauguration

can we expect a knock-on effect

will Donald demand reverse exhumation?

Trump:

Colombia being “gem of the ocean”,
all lands and oceans are ours.
America being largest and greatest,
TRUMP rules on Earth, Elon on Mars.

Numb. 1261 Unbiased Opinion Of A Jan. 6 Revisionist

It was very scary on 6 January

when peaceful assemblies fought back,

tearful and fearful but always cheerful,

against vicious Deep State attackers

who beat themselves silly

(and diddled their willies)

as affable citizens stared

aghast at their madness,

their infinite badness 

but refused to respond ’cuz they cared

about law and order, defending borders

from invasions of Hispanic criminals

eager to slaughter, rape wives and daughters.

Despicable groups. And individuals.

We showed our bravery combating knavery

and now we will reap our reward.

Trump triumphant. Vengeance abundant.

Let’s kill the bastards. Let's praise The Lord.

Numb. 1260 Donnie On Truth Syrup (width missed spellings)

I never could dance like Fred Austere.

I hate everyone who suspects my hair.

As Rupe says in headlines NOW IT CAN BE TOLD:

I’m not only senile, I’m ever so old.

But miracle pills “Doc" Elon prescribed

can keep me viral, and what's more alive.

(Since meeting Elon I now comprehend

all that I missed lacking African friends.)

Everything presently's going to plan,

Forever young, I'm Dylan or Pete or Pan!

With my Niagara Falls of Viagra,

America, I am so gonna shag ya.

Numb. 1259 Rudy G Pleads Self-Offense (white patriarchy hierarchy)

The former mayor of New York City could be held in contempt of court after failing to fully comply with orders to surrender millions of dollars in assets to election workers he defamed. — New York Times

 

I was THE mayor. And a US attorney.

No one can tell me THE LAW.

Don't get in my way, I’m on a journey

away from the way things were before.

You know, back when honest Italians

were considered the scum of the Earth,

while we were merely little rapscallions —

just a bit criminal, great with desserts.

I then arose from those lower classes —

awful bad people, horrible habits,

the great unwashed, illicit drug stashers,

who ate people's pets: dogs, cats, and rabbits.

A lawyer, at last I was thought alright.

I had been Italian, now I was WHITE.

Okay to date or even to marry,

or get an actual conceal and carry.

I know what it's like being rejected,

will not tolerate it if I'm disrespected.

I crashed the White Protestant Pinnacle!

Above the law! Not being cynical!

“Ladies" descended from slaves cannot sue me!

I am THE law, myself on to me.

When “legal" charade is over and done,

I beg Donald's pardon, he grants me one.

Yes, I confess, I have imperfections.

Nevertheless, I got lotsa “connections".

Numb. 1258 Stories We Are NOT Covering

The Johnson nonsense?

We care not a farthing!

Posture sans substance.

Not worth our bothering.

Outlawing drinking?

Leave it alone.

What ARE they thinking?

Return to Capone?

Extended playoffs.

Sports scores galore.

We need a day off.

Oh, what a bore.

What's the big deal?

US, Nippon Steel?

Why not unload

this dying “railroad"?

US should be

NO TAX, NO VAX.

We need to be free

to drop in our tracks.

Numb. 1257 Shifting Social Mores

Do you remember how poor Gary Hart's

one teensy tryst blew his campaign apart?

Do you recall when Bill Clinton's cigar

lost the election for VP Al Gore?

And now we have Trump, in essence, convicted

of blatant rape and no one’s conflicted?!

How, Gott im Himmel, has it come to pass

we disregard Donald's moral morass?

Numb. 1256 Pomposity And Grandiosity (along with a side of misspelling)

Why can’t I change the name of the golf?

Love the sound: TRUMP Golf Of Texas!

Ya think that'll piss somebody off,

wait and see WHAT my next step is.

The thing, you see, seeing I'm me,

who do I ask for permission?

I don’t do “May I?” whatever I

say I do it. No prohibition.

As to the cost of printing new maps?

I will make Mexico pay it.

As I did with my GREAT BOARDER WALL.

So what you deny it? I SAY IT!

To any who think I'm lacking stamina,

go, ready, set: annex TRUMPANADA.

Numb. 1255 NOT A Funny One (if any ACTUALLY are)

One person was dead and at least seven people were injured after a Tesla Cybertruck exploded and caught fire outside of the Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas on Wednesday morning, according to the authorities. — New York Times 

 

Here at The BYSTANDER, we abhor violence

no matter how “righteous” your cause.

That is NOT to say we endorse silence

OR the enforcement of repressive laws.

We recall fondly Mahatma Gandhi.

Though he failed, he tried preaching peace

to people unwilling who preferred killing.

Compromise being beyond human reach.

The cumulative failure of each revolution,

suggests our extinction’s the ONLY solution.

Numb. 1254 Donnie's New Year Remarks

Of course, I am going to Bill Clinton’s funeral.

Melanie’s SAD that he’s dead.

Hold on a sec. Someone said Carter?

I guess I will go there instead.

Of course, I support House Speaker “Johnson".

If he does not win it's a shame.

Tell ya the truth, I don't like him much,

but I get it off saying his name.

Of course, when I return to “The Oval",

first order of business: call Vlad

to coordinate Ukraine's ending date.

So long, Zelenskyy. So SAD.

Numb. 1253 Springtime For Putin And USA

I hold Vladimir completely in awe,

seeing as how he disregards law:

invading neighbors, controlling lands

from frozen tundra to barren sands,

ruling over eleven time zones.

Folks, let me tell ya, that takes cojones.

Best of all, Vladimir brooks no dissent

and always knows where enemies went.

Off to Siberia. (Darker and colder.)

Or foreign lands. (Where they don't get older.)

Okay, America's less cold and grim,

but I want to make it perfect for him.