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CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (4/2/2025)

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CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (4/1/2025)

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THE TRUMP COALITION

misinformed Zionists

well-informed NAZIs

racists

fraudsters

“Christians” on Missions with misfiring pistons

crooks

Ayn Randy voyeurs hooked up with lawyers

neo-Confederate ethical idiots

America “onliests” who think “firsters” sissies

GOP TRAD-isolationists

male sex-offenders 

coked-up pretenders on weekend benders

homeschooling advocates

Aryan Nations

Boys Proud of what?

FOX watchers 

Limbaugh listeners

(yes, Rush is dead,

but he never said

anything new —

reruns of old shows

surely will do)

Dunning-Kruger losers

down-market malcontents

billionaire egoists with too many kids

QAnon crypto enthusiasts

porn-loving incels

AND

foil-capped others

where we are thwarted

(foil foils our seeing

what their chips recorded)

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REPUBLICAN IDEAL

We are American Hezbollah!

God placed His trust in us.

We favor theocracy

disguised as democracy.

Founders founded a government

of-by-for WHITE PROTESTANT men

whose wives vote how they tell them.

With Trump we've achieved Earthly perfection.

We’ll never need another election.

Pope-like, Trump will appoint senators

who will in due course select his successors.

BUY ANY OTHER NAME (a Donnie Scheme) 

Why does this great American river

have a Mexican name? It gives me shivers.

Disgraceful, distasteful, disgusting, insane.

I gotta tell ya, Obama's to blame.

Why don’t I sell naming rights?

OR say I'll lease ’em and see who bites?

All offers considered. Profit and fun.

Confederate rebels particularly welcome.

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MOMMA’S BOY MOTHER’S LAND

Though too young at the time to understand,

I remember momma taking my hand,

saying, “You will be president, therefore you should plan

to make state fifty-two out of my Scotland.

If your first marriage ends in divorce,

bury the bitch on a Jersey golf course.”

CONSPIRACY FACT, NOT A THEORY

Melania* has always been Russian agent,

an asset created for honeypot plot

for when Donald tired of first one, Ivana**,

who was, then, expendable and should have been shot.

Of course, Confederate*** came in between,

but Dixie and Roosiya root for same team.

————

* Melanija Knavs b. 1970 Communist Yugoslavia

** Ivana Marie Zelníčkováb b. 1949 Communist Czechoslovakia

*** Marla Ann Maples b. 1963 Georgia, CSA

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TOUGH SLEDDING AHEAD

Trump reiterates desire to control Greenland as Vance visits the country

Speaking to service members, Vance said Denmark had "not done a good job by the people of Greenland" - Washington Post

If you come with us as unequal people

we'll turn you in to a cold Puerto Rico.

Or St. Thomas, St. Croix, North 'lantic Guam.

For unlike Denmark, we WILL do you harm.

Just look at our history and you can see

how we have done with our “owned" D.C.

HISTORY TRUMPED

Trump executive order on Smithsonian targets funding for programs with 'improper ideology'

Trump claimed there has been a "concerted and widespread" effort over the past decade to rewrite American history by replacing "objective facts" with a "distorted narrative driven by ideology rather than truth," adding that it casts the "founding principles" of the United States in a "negative light." - AP

America IS/WAS/WILL-ALWAYS-BE perfect

because by OUR GOD we’ve been blessed.

Natives exterminated, Africans trafficked?

If that ever happened it was at GOD's behest.

We will get GREATER forever and ever.

Our motto: SHOOT FIRST, ask questions never.

MUCH ADO ABOUT INK-DOO-DOO

Pete Hegseth's Arabic tattoo stirs controversy: 'clear symbol of Islamophobia'

Critics say US defense secretary's tattoo of the word kafir, meaning 'infidel' or 'non-believer' could offend Muslims - Guardian

BIG FUCKING DEAL! I'm a crusader. I'm a self-labeled ‘KAFFIR'.

Ya think I give a shit about Muslims? It's the damned Yids that I fear.

If that photo leaks, I am shit out of luck.

You know? My Trump stamp? “נשק לי את התחת שמוק"?*

——————

*“KISS MY ASS SCHMUCK"

A RAM DEM TAUT TO CALYPSO BEAT

Trump, D., dump truck, him goan bild wall

Hey-donny-dumb-fuck, doan see ad all

Congress mon toady cabinet yes-mon:

mon, why you us caus in-DEI-jest-shun?

REMIND YOU OF ANYONE?

"We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power. Not wealth or luxury or long life or happiness: only power, pure power.... We are different from all the oligarchies of the past, in that we know what we are doing. All the others, even those who resembled ourselves, were cowards and hypocrites. The German Nazis and the Russian Communists came very close to us in their methods, but they never had the courage to recognize their own motives. They pretended, perhaps they even believed, that they had seized power unwillingly and for a limited time, and that just round the corner there lay a paradise where human beings would be free and equal. We are not like that. We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power." — George Orwell, 1984

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BONDI GAMES & GAGS

Bondi Suggests Signal Chat Episode Is Unlikely to Be Criminally Investigated - New York Times

Between you and me, it’s perfectly clear:

nothing to see going on here.

‘Leak’ is not drastic. No need to get frantic.

But I’d watch my back were I The Atlantic.

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

"They will never give me a Nobel Peace Prize," Mr. Trump said last month during a meeting with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel in the Oval Office. "It’s too bad. I deserve it, but they will never give it to me." - New York Times

Let’s say I became King of Norway,

could I give me Noble Peas Prize?

Or order a fake one from Amazon. Surely

I'm worthy in Jeff Bozo’s eyes.

I could, I suppose, like ol' Fred Noble

create a prize in my name just for me.

TRUMP Wiseguy Prize*, here on Truth Social

if somebody somewhere would cough up some money.

————————————

* with extra fries

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SECOND THOUGHTS, SECOND AMENDMENT

The Supreme Court on Wednesday

upheld the Biden administration’s

regulation of ghost guns....

Justices Samuel A. Alito and

Clarence Thomas dissented. - Washington Post

Alito and Thomas, sure hope they're “wanded" whenever they go to conference. 

Those billowy robes ... God only knows what kind of heat these dudes are packing?

THICK AS THIEVES

Teen member of Musk’s Doge staff provided tech support to cybercrime ring, records show

Edward Coristine, who is 19, is among members of Doge effort that has been given access to official networks - Guardian

Folks, don’t get upset. This is not how it looks.

Elon and me do not hire crooks.

My support for this kid is unconditional.

Like me, he may be a master criminal.

THE CHIEF'S PROBLEM

John Roberts has a Pius-like problem.

If he says “STOP!”, Trump will ignore him.

All he can do is hope and pray

either he dies or goes away.

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING

Two Minutes of Hate ain't near enough

to demonstrate hatred for lib-er-al stuff.

Merde-dock’s FOX’s preview of heaven

feeds our need twenty-four/seven.

SEX

In mammals pairs of chromosomes match.

Except for the sex ones, the Y and the X.

X is symmetric, whole and intact.

Y, in effect, is a broken X.

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PRESIDENT ALIEN?

No Truth Social mention of shape-shifting aliens 

living among us who come from the stars?

Surely TRUMP knows, Muck must have told him,

“Illegals invented my spaceships and cars.”

Ya wanna believe, but not sure ya can ...

he's onnaya, NOT ONE A THEM,

who must overdo orange sunscreen

to keep ya from seeing he’s totally green.

(And wouldn't it be yet more astonishing,

to learn he's fake gold and that he's tarnishing?)