Numb. 1249 Front Pages: Time O' The Shallowman

Random rhymes from my pen poured

a scribbling scrawl unbid

Sometimes in a Buddhist mood

it seems something I did

in some past life a foreign land

in this vast folderol

Looking back I have to say

I really fooled you all

Without me would there have been

a youth revolt at all

Without me would there have been

and Mary, Peter, Paul

I wrote the words I called the tune

primed status quo to fall

Looking back I have to say

I really fooled you all

Money flowed and praise bestowed

genius that I am

Lyrics that at most could boast

a whiff of past-date Spam

Smoking weed you thought my screed

made sense I recall

Looking back I have to say

I really fooled you all

With peace at hand I formed a band

a merry minstrelsy

and wrote of love and what's above

and broken memory

It was lame but money came

They play me at The Mall

Looking back I have to say

I really fooled you all

The times have changed and changed 

again to back where they began

What can then this portend

for dying Dylan fans

Is there crap deep perhaps 

beneath my great cash haul

Looking back I have to say

I really fooled you all

I'm told schnooks have written books

probed my life for facts

What's next jazz some razz-ma-tazz

Perhaps learn the sax

Leave the scene to Bruce Springsteen

like Fidel did to Raul

Looking back I have to say

I really fooled us all

Numb. 1248 Bank Holiday Preyers

Regulators Sue 3 Big Banks Over Rampant Fraud on Zelle
Action against Bank of America, JPMorgan Chase and Wells Fargo may not survive President-elect Donald J. Trump’s return to office. — New York Times

Oh, dear Lord, if fraud were outlawed,

how would we stay in business?

Donald Trump knows how things have to work.

Prey that he'll save us from Democrat jerks

who blather, “Consumers must be protected"

while lazy fair tells us they're best neglected.

Grandmothers fall for fraud and flimflam?

Who cares? It advances our profit plan.

Caveat emptor. Hail Trump, our Emperor.

Numb. 1247 Donnie Solve Crime

I hereby proclaim shoot to kill orders
for all criminals including jaywalkers.
Jaywalking being a gateway crime,
it cannot be stopped by doing time.
We need to blow these hombres away,
to put an end to decline and decay.
Capital punishment! That's my mandate.
Shoot everyone, make America great.

Numb. 1246 January 20, 2025 — Inauguration Augurs Ill

A monumental

denouement

to document

emoluments

Numb. 1245 Pardon Me, Donald

Anything that a Republican does

I do not consider a crime.

On the other hand ... Democrats? YES!

BUT THEY ARE NOT masterminds.

I pardon each and every Republican

for “crimes” planned or committed.

Democrats? Deport or lock ’em up.

At the very least have ’em committed.

Numb. 1244 Tomorrow And Tomorrow And Tomorrow ... And All Our Yesterdays

“For purposes of National Security and Freedom throughout the World, the United States of America feels that the ownership and control of Greenland is an absolute necessity,” Trump wrote on Truth Social. — Guardian

Today Greenland,
tomorrow the world.
I see that unseen land
with our flag unfurled
over the ice and Eskimos,
helping me punch Trudeau in the nose,
teaching him to not be ungrateful
when I make Canada 51st state full
of French-speakers, mouths filled with snails.
Although he objects, my will prevails.
As I have always, I’ll do as I please,
all set to music, Maestro, if you please!

Numb. 1243 Trump Doctrine

Where’er I see an empty expanse,

I think, “I can fix it, of course.”

Whether near water, or under sand,

I picture oil rigs. Or a golf course.

Some say land has better uses —

“nat-ur-al hab-i-tat” crap.

So very SAD. Losers excuses.

“Saving the planet.” Who gives a rap?

Bigly hotels, casinos, resorts,

slathered in “gold" to cover the warts.

I grab. I take. I make stuff useful.

TRUMP out in front makes all things beautiful.