Numb. 1242: From Donald's Diary II

Do I need a pretext to seize New York Times
and turn it over to Murdoch?
Supine SUPREMES would have my back —
bowing to FOX, not heirs of Ochs.

Numb. 1241 Donnie's Xmas List (batteries not included)

As Donald prepares to take TOTAL power,

he still thinks of others while in the shower.

He slathers soft soap on his beautiful body —

after, of course, he has gone potty.

Given his fear of serious germs,

he starts every day on the cleanest of terms,

brushes his teeth, shampoos his hair,

shaving his face — the fairest of fair.

For instance, this morning

he thought — stretching, yawning —

“What Christmas gift

would heal a rift

should my proposals

cause those less loyal

to turn up their noses?”

His brain, big and brilliant,

his hair somewhat damp,

birthed at that instant:

“A RUBBER STAMP!”

“One for each delegation in Congress,

another for each of the courts.

Republicans only.

Let Dems be jaundiced.

I won fair and square.

They’re rotten sports.

Yes, it’s expensive,

but it won’t be that bad.

I will command,

‘Bring your ink pad!'"

Numb. 1240 From Donald's Diary I

Hitler did a lot of good things.

So did, EXCUSE ME!, Caligula.

When I told Melanie some of his stuff,

she said, “Donald, oh what a pig you are."

Numb. 1239 Press Release

 EMBARGOED UNTIL JANUARY 20, 2025
(after swearing at in)
———————————————

Since Dems can never again be elected,

TIME to repeal the twenty-second amendment?

OR BETTER YET —

Given cost, bother, and imperfections

of holding never-ending elections,

Some people say — may I say I agree? —

TIME to return to monarchy.

Last president = first Emperor

(Then Melanie cannot tell me I “bother" her.)

Caesar was God, way back in Rome.

My TIME has arrived so I'll raise Roy Cohn.)

Numb. 1238 From The Ravings Of Charmin Don II

Everyone that I appoint
is completely — TOTALLY! — qualified.
Those opposed are missing the point:
crossed, I cannot be mollified.
Agree with me and you will thrive.
Otherwise … you might not survive.

Numb. 1237 Eine Kleine Nacht Hysterisch — update

Drones over New Jersey?

Alien beings searching for Donald who can't take the tacky of Moral-Logal. With intergalactic warrants outstanding, they clap him in ions soon after landing, beaming him up to some far away star, to some planet where he’s unknown. (If there is such in the universe.) He's not allowed to phone home! US Space Force can't use THE KRAKEN. (A weapon of Donald’s devising.) Old, Slow Joe Biden cancelled the program. Unhappy example of Space Force downsizing. Socialist Dems and Little Green Men seize all our guns and munitions. Little Green Men and Socialist Dems refuse to acknowledge the second amendment. LOOK OUT! Here they come! Distract them. I’ll run. I do not expect they’ve set phasers on stun.

Numb. 1236 From The Ravings Of Charmin Don I

Whatever happens remember the dictum: I did nothing wrong, I AM THE VICTIM!

You know what made America GREAT? We shot first and asked questions later.

(Or never!) That and Founding Fathers’ profession: the only good Injun’s a dead one.

Forever.