Numb. 1208 Let Buy Guns Be, Buy Guns

Federal judge strikes down Illinois assault weapons ban
Trump appointee Stephen McGlynn rules that ban enacted in wake of deadly Highland Park attack is unconstitutional — The Guardian

(sung to the tune of “Love and Marriage" by Van Heusen & Cahn)

Guns and slaughter 

guns and slaughter

that's what we want on our border

Daughters, wives, and mothers

we must protect from foreign others

Guns and killing

we are willing

incidentally we find it thrilling

shooting “different” neighbors

while they’re resting from their labors

Lock, load, let’s annihilate them,

end the confusion

if we can’t incarcerate them

this … is our solution

Guns and shooting

guns and shooting

it’s the only thing that stops them looting

keeps them in their places

instead of always in our faces

Buy, buy a box o’ “hollows”

and guess what happens

targets never will return 

to … Capistrano with the swallows 

Guns and carnage

guns and carnage

it’s a thing we never will acknowledge

You take our guns, you spoil our fun

And so we gotta blow your brains out

Why bother?

Numb. 1207 Reparations, A (quite white) Majority View

Petition To OUR New Congress

We demand reparations, 

we spawn of slave-owners

whose ancestors’ property

was illegally seized

in gross violation of 

sacred and binding

Constitutional guarantees.

We ARE NOT arguing 

race-slavery was right.

However, it was the law.

If government refuses

to reimburse us,

what in holy hell

is government for?

Does it have a monopoly

on taking property

and never properly paying?

Is it like the Mafia,

albeit sloppier,

always on top o’ ya,

you get what I’m saying?

Handing out money

to descendants of slaves,

how in hell

does that make sense?

Their ancestors were,

for free,

given freedom,

while ours were robbed.

WITHOUT RECOMPENSE!

If there's cash around

for righting old wrongs,

fairness suggests 

it’s to us it belongs!

Numb. 1206 GOP Congressional Mission Airies

WE will not hesitate.

We WILL investigate.

And most of ALL

we REmember Watergate.

We won’t even mention

Democratic inventions,

trumping up charges

with evil intentions.

You may be sure

we are good and pure

with Donald our Savior

and Jesus our president.

Numb. 1205 First Day Plan For 119th Congress

When Congress convenes

we’ll have the means

to impeach Crooked Joe Biden

and communist Kamala.

We will convict them 

and quickly evict ’em.

(We interrupt rhymes for a snort or two.

                            …

’N’ now back 2 yu in the schtudio.)

Cupola schwiff kicks ina pants …

inch tall inch ted Donal ’n’ Vance …

Shomwat beef or a poin-ed hour.

’Swhat yu do wen drunk whif power.

Numb. 1204 Death Demographic

I think liberal media just missed the mark,

democracy died in the light, not the dark.

Yet they keep on typing, fingers all crossed,

convincing  themselves that all isn't lost.

Such whistling past graveyards is worse than perverse

when you’re in the coffin and it’s in the hearse.

Numb. 1203 Trump Geopolitics No. 1

China will take over Taiwan

the moment Trump is sworn in.

He's assured Xi, “I will be calm."

(Formosan people look Chinese to him.)

He’ll send US forces to help in Ukraine.

To fight alongside North Koreans.

(“Ukraine", he told Putin, “rhymes with Hussein,

so I am okay with killing civilians.")

When first as president

he proposed buying Greenland,

Denmark laughed in his face.

(He believes above precedents

will allow him to grab this icy, unseen land

as soon as he putts the Danes in their place.)

Numb. 1202 Interminable Limits

Since Biden was never legally president,

I’ll ignore all he laws signed.

Judges appointed will be disappointed.

I don’t have to fire them.

It’ll be fine.

They, after all, were never there.

You think this drastic?

I say it’s fair.

Easy-peasy, ignoring four years,

make like they didn’t happen.

Turn back the calendar —

like daylight savings —

and maybe say you were napping.

It’s 2020, my second term’s started.

It’ll be like I never departed.

Back on the air, with FOX & Friends …

Except, of course, I must avenge

the wrongs I’ve imagined. 

After all, I’m unhinged.

Numb. 1201 The Pledge Of Allegiance (rev. 1/20/2025)

(Proposed text.

Key Staff Eyes-Only.

DO NOT TO LEAK TO MEDIA!!!

N.B. text is right aligned. Naturally.)

I pledge allegiance to the forever president of the New Christian States of America and I will endeavor to do whatever I understand him to command me to. One nation, under attack, but not to worry, we’re fighting back under God, and we're well-armed with Liberty for us and for others harm. With RETRIBUTION our go-to solution, we pledge to ignore the so-called Constitution.

(Plus, yada-yada, THE FLAG, the REPUBLIC. )

DJT

Respond with praise or not at all!

Numb. 1200 Deep Fake Thoughts

Absent evidence that could be deemed credible

stories of gods are, at best, hypothetical.

                                           *    *    *

Now with votes counted, where can we go?

Canada? You know, Justin Clouseau?

                                           *    *    *

Change in the climate

mostly comes down

to superhuman cupidity.

Can we undo it?

Probably not.

It isn’t the heat,

it’s our stupidity.

Numb. 1199 Anal Asses: How Darn Old One

Democracy, sadly, comes loaded with quirks.

First amongst them is that it only works

for a while and short-term gimcrackery

will always succumb to political quackery

because, after all, we think awfully small,

mainly concerned with what’s in it for me.

A minuscule something that's better than nothing

so long as all OTHERS get less, don’t you see?

We see no harm in pretended Christian,

social Darwinian, Ayn Randy morality.

Sharing and caring are far too demanding,

akin to enduring your fourth colonoscopy.

In supporting Darn Old, the American masses

did what they did to cover their asses.

Only he can instill such fear and pain in us.

And so it went, Sic semper Uranus.

Numb. 1198 O, Deus: One Odious Duo?

Reagan said, playing a part:

“Tell the boys, ‘win 

one for the Gipper'.”

Darn Old asked, straight from the heart, 

“Where is the sin

tipping a stripper?”

Would, in truth, confusion abound

had it been the other way round?

Numb. 1197 Apotheosis?

Were Darn Old king, that would be a thing

to behold as in days of old.

A monarch of anarchy, given to vanity, 

prone to profanity. Oh, the humanity.

Can’t you see Darn Old, tall in the saddle,

leading his forces in bigly battle,

herding the women like they were cattle,

confounding his court with infantile prattle?

The infinite glitter of his façade,

followers gob-smacked and overawed,

all in his presence moved to applaud,

even perceiving him as a god.

                                                  *    *    *

Here I must stop, revealing the plot,

assuring you that a god he is not.

Abiding with him secures you a spot

in a hereafter exceedingly 🔥HOT🔥.

Numb. 1196 Darn Old's Closing Argument

What’s wrong with saying I want someone shot

if I don’t like what they say?

Putin and Kim do it — A LOT!

Genuine men make their enemies pay.

America needs a leader like that.

A red-blooded hero like me.

A rich autocrat to trump democrats

as Founders intended. Obviously.

I cannot abide “separation of powers”,

Congress and courts weary me.

I'm a nice guy. They die, I send flowers.

Democracy's pretty, but merely theory.

When, last time, I came down from my tower,

Democrat Deep State deprived me of power.

This time, surprise, TRVMP is let loose ...

EGO SVM IMPERATOR TVVS

DEVS IMPERATOR TRVMP
(God-Emperor Trump) 
Fabrizio Galli