Numb. 1162 Zer-O The Humanity

Israelis use US arms as they choose

while Ukrainians have to ask “may I?”

In most other wars they settle old scores

with no rules whatever to play by.

“Carthago” — or whatever — “delenda est”

the motto emblazoned on our family crest.

Die freely, don’t live, you’ve one life to give.

And always remember NEVER FORGIVE!

Numb. 1161 The Die Was (Long Ago) Cast

Guardian:
Earth may have breached seven of nine planetary boundaries, health check shows
Industrial civilisation is close to breaching a seventh planetary boundary, and may already have crossed it, according to scientists who have compiled the latest report on the state of the world’s life-support systems.

How did we, proud hunter-gathers,

turn into incontinent internet blatherers,

misusing unique opposable thumbs,

so dumbed down that they've become

game controller accessories

in something like one-twenty centuries?

Our sad decline was not unexpected.

Our primitive innards we’ve too long neglected.

We should consume food uncooked and raw.

To do otherwise violates natural law.

Relearn to enjoy how killing feels!

(Also, avoid treats between meals.)

The path to redemption is, I fear, narrow.

Pick up again your bow, your arrow.

Get off the couch, kill something to eat.

(Ordering Grubhub is so effete.)

Fruits, roots, berries! All there for the taking.

No processed food. (Forsake all baking.)

We must, at once, resume hunter-gathering.

Abandon tech, farming, manufacturing.

Returning, pronto, to ancestors' days,

renouncing, forever, our “civilized" ways.

Time's of the essence. Work up a lather.

Recycle ourselves into hunter-gatherers.

Numb. 1160 Electoral College Reform School (Project 2025 Addendumb)

It is common knowledge

our Electoral College

is, in fact, very unfair

to Darn Old who has his real hair.

An Electoral High School

would be a good tool

or better yet an Eighth Grade.

But if we set a minimum

for voter’s income,

we’ll have it, forever, made in the shade.

The Founders never intended “democracy”.

(And in their hearts prob’ly prayed for plutocracy.)

Today we can end this disequilibrium

by making the country a condominium.

Giving most votes to richest folks’ll

fix little red wagons of Dems and yokels.

The poor, though useful as cannon fodder,

are otherwise useless so why would we bother

with any programs to benefit them,

raising OUR taxes. No thanks! Amen.

Numb. 1159 Republican Dogs

How many dogs must Republicans kill

before all dogs lose their bark

Yes, and how many pets must they say Haitians e't

before feeding Haitians to sharks

How many slanders and gerrymanders

to serve their Darn Old anarch

The answer, dear Dems, is this is without end

the answer is this is without end

Numb. 1158 Darn Old On Right To Lie, (er, free speech)

 Newsweek: Haitian Group Charges Trump, Vance Over Threats to Springfield Community

Nothing could be Constitutionally clearer

than my RIGHT to cry “Fire” in theaters.

Go ahead, haul my fat ass into court.

Our courts today are Republicans forts.

Which I’ll rename for Confederate heroes.

After I tally Kamala’s zeros. — DJT

Numb. 1157 A Prayer From Florida

Why, God, send Helene to Florida?

You do know DeSantis lives here?

Can’t You provide another storm corridor,

like maybe Haiti where we needn’t care?

(Haiti — wink, wink — You know what we mean?

You’ve seen FOX News on Haitian “cuisine”?

You can’t condone these “eating habits”.

Dogs and cats? Never! They are not rabbits.

Oh! My! God! You are allergic? With regrets,

Your heaven forbids household pets?)

In DeSantis’s Florida we worship You, Lord.

We know You’re okay with our Medicare fraud.

Dear God, if You please, take Helene in tow

and send her toward Haiti. Or Mexico.

Lands filled with people who are disposable.

Send them Helene. They're sooo decomposable.

Numb. 1156 News Briefs

Dereliction

If ev'ry Narcissist voted for Darn Old,

he’d get ninety percent of the vote.

Lab'ling the ten percent Benedict Arnold,

he’d swiftly imprison ev'ry turncoat.

——————————

Guardian:

Biden administration proposes rules to ban Chinese-made cars over spying fears

Can you imagine your China-made car

telling Beijing ev’ry sec where you are,

every damn minute, every damn day!?

That’s Google's business, is what I say.

——————————

Daily Beast:

‘Black Nazi’ Mark Robinson Denies Hiring

MAGA Troll Fraudster as Campaign Manager

So next step I have to suppose is

Muslims name sons Christian or Moses.

And in the Vatican, on communion wine hammered,

Cardinals elect the first Pope Mohammed.

Numb. 1155 Darn Old Coin

Guardian: Trump hawks $100 commemorative coins in latest hunt for cash

The latest addition to the Trump entrepreneurial universe – one that four bankruptcies and a recent financial fraud conviction only begin to attest to – display a profile of the former president’s face and an image of the White House with the words “In God we Trust”.

DarnOldCoin®, my new funny money.

Hurry, get yours, don't be a dummy.

You’d think, by now, my “misadventures”

would have completely depleted my purse.

Say I invest in Rudy’s dentures ...

maybe unwise, but I have done worse.

On Wall Street they call it a “pump and dump” –

pretend a success, then screw the chumps.

Coins show my profile in bas-relief

plus a depiction of Rudy's teeth.