Numb. 1163 AI v. God

        Artificial Intelligence?

Were we to ask AI about God

would that perhaps prove too prickly a prod?

Can AI assess if God exists?

Would either be pissed if we persisted?

Could AI, whirring and humming

Deus ex machina, be the second coming?

Use our last kilowatt to run its program,

declare, “I am AI. I am that I am.”?

On the other hand ...

Can we ask God about AI?
Would He understand, were we to try?
Could God assess if AI is possible?
Would God reply, “AI’s incognoscible.”
Would God go on, hemming and hawing,
or look in our eye and say, “AI? Bor-Ring!
About your AI, I don’t give a damn.

I know only I am that I am.”?

————————

        A Deist Conjecture

We human beings. We hapless bastards.

Our feeble species, how have we lasted?

Could our Gods have got themselves plastered?

(Is drinking a thing our Gods never mastered?)

Sobering up, they slipped in their showers?

Busting their heads, losing their powers?

Leaving wee humans to cope all alone?

Are Gods — as are we — accident prone?

Numb. 1162 Zer-O The Humanity

Israelis use US arms as they choose

while Ukrainians have to ask “may I?”

In most other wars they settle old scores

with no rules whatever to play by.

“Carthago” — or whatever — “delenda est”

the motto emblazoned on our family crest.

Die freely, don’t live, you’ve one life to give.

And always remember NEVER FORGIVE!

Numb. 1161 The Die Was (Long Ago) Cast

Guardian:
Earth may have breached seven of nine planetary boundaries, health check shows
Industrial civilisation is close to breaching a seventh planetary boundary, and may already have crossed it, according to scientists who have compiled the latest report on the state of the world’s life-support systems.

How did we, proud hunter-gathers,

turn into incontinent internet blatherers,

misusing unique opposable thumbs,

so dumbed down that they've become

game controller accessories

in something like one-twenty centuries?

Our sad decline was not unexpected.

Our primitive innards we’ve too long neglected.

We should consume food uncooked and raw.

To do otherwise violates natural law.

Relearn to enjoy how killing feels!

(Also, avoid treats between meals.)

The path to redemption is, I fear, narrow.

Pick up again your bow, your arrow.

Get off the couch, kill something to eat.

(Ordering Grubhub is so effete.)

Fruits, roots, berries! All there for the taking.

No processed food. (Forsake all baking.)

We must, at once, resume hunter-gathering.

Abandon tech, farming, manufacturing.

Returning, pronto, to ancestors' days,

renouncing, forever, our “civilized" ways.

Time's of the essence. Work up a lather.

Recycle ourselves into hunter-gatherers.

Numb. 1160 Electoral College Reform School (Project 2025 Addendumb)

It is common knowledge

our Electoral College

is, in fact, very unfair

to Darn Old who has his real hair.

An Electoral High School

would be a good tool

or better yet an Eighth Grade.

But if we set a minimum

for voter’s income,

we’ll have it, forever, made in the shade.

The Founders never intended “democracy”.

(And in their hearts prob’ly prayed for plutocracy.)

Today we can end this disequilibrium

by making the country a condominium.

Giving most votes to richest folks’ll

fix little red wagons of Dems and yokels.

The poor, though useful as cannon fodder,

are otherwise useless so why would we bother

with any programs to benefit them,

raising OUR taxes. No thanks! Amen.

Numb. 1159 Republican Dogs

How many dogs must Republicans kill

before all dogs lose their bark

Yes, and how many pets must they say Haitians e't

before feeding Haitians to sharks

How many slanders and gerrymanders

to serve their Darn Old anarch

The answer, dear Dems, is this is without end

the answer is this is without end

Numb. 1158 Darn Old On Right To Lie, (er, free speech)

 Newsweek: Haitian Group Charges Trump, Vance Over Threats to Springfield Community

Nothing could be Constitutionally clearer

than my RIGHT to cry “Fire” in theaters.

Go ahead, haul my fat ass into court.

Our courts today are Republicans forts.

Which I’ll rename for Confederate heroes.

After I tally Kamala’s zeros. — DJT

Numb. 1157 A Prayer From Florida

Why, God, send Helene to Florida?

You do know DeSantis lives here?

Can’t You provide another storm corridor,

like maybe Haiti where we needn’t care?

(Haiti — wink, wink — You know what we mean?

You’ve seen FOX News on Haitian “cuisine”?

You can’t condone these “eating habits”.

Dogs and cats? Never! They are not rabbits.

Oh! My! God! You are allergic? With regrets,

Your heaven forbids household pets?)

In DeSantis’s Florida we worship You, Lord.

We know You’re okay with our Medicare fraud.

Dear God, if You please, take Helene in tow

and send her toward Haiti. Or Mexico.

Lands filled with people who are disposable.

Send them Helene. They're sooo decomposable.

Numb. 1156 News Briefs

Dereliction

If ev'ry Narcissist voted for Darn Old,

he’d get ninety percent of the vote.

Lab'ling the ten percent Benedict Arnold,

he’d swiftly imprison ev'ry turncoat.

——————————

Guardian:

Biden administration proposes rules to ban Chinese-made cars over spying fears

Can you imagine your China-made car

telling Beijing ev’ry sec where you are,

every damn minute, every damn day!?

That’s Google's business, is what I say.

——————————

Daily Beast:

‘Black Nazi’ Mark Robinson Denies Hiring

MAGA Troll Fraudster as Campaign Manager

So next step I have to suppose is

Muslims name sons Christian or Moses.

And in the Vatican, on communion wine hammered,

Cardinals elect the first Pope Mohammed.

Numb. 1155 Darn Old Coin

Guardian: Trump hawks $100 commemorative coins in latest hunt for cash

The latest addition to the Trump entrepreneurial universe – one that four bankruptcies and a recent financial fraud conviction only begin to attest to – display a profile of the former president’s face and an image of the White House with the words “In God we Trust”.

DarnOldCoin®, my new funny money.

Hurry, get yours, don't be a dummy.

You’d think, by now, my “misadventures”

would have completely depleted my purse.

Say I invest in Rudy’s dentures ...

maybe unwise, but I have done worse.

On Wall Street they call it a “pump and dump” –

pretend a success, then screw the chumps.

Coins show my profile in bas-relief

plus a depiction of Rudy's teeth.

Numb. 1154 Civil War Aftermath (You Do The Math)

Who says our War For Succession is over?
Long live The Confederate States.

Without rebranding we are expanding
while “Union” shrinks at an astounding rate.

Ulysses S. Grant was born in Ohio.

Today’s Buckeyes fight on our side.

Where is their sad, dead, “useless” general? 

Riverside Drive, Upper West Side. 

The heartland is ours, along with THE SOUTH

and, as you would expect, the southwest.

Northeast and northwest will soon come over.

California, New York? Awaiting conquest.

With Darn Old our savior, our gladiator,

we’ll repeal the previous century,

making the nation one vast plantation

while introducing de-desegregation.

Declaring our nation a Christian enclave,

we’ll outlaw security cradle to grave.

With our stars and bars forever unfurled,

we’ll bring into being a God-washed white world

where Ayn Rand Christians are free to thrive.

(And nobody else EVER gets out alive.)

Numb. 1153 News Briefs

The Haitian Question

When Darn Old shows Haitians eat kittens,

then it will be both proper and fittin’

because fake news led the denyin’,

he will feed them and Haitians to lions.

____________________________________

Bombs Away?

Will your next iPhone include a bomb?

Will Google, Samsung, and others catch on,

exploiting a brand new revenue stream?

Could there be consequences as yet unforeseen?

Tiles and AirTags exploding all over?

On your dog’s collar? Au revoir, Rover!

Say you are tracking a wandering spouse?

BAM! Next thing you’re in the courthouse.

Planning on buying a bright, shiny Tesla?

Maybe first visit your father confessor.

Still, deployment of advancing technology

if done with caution requires no apology.

Product tampering brought up to date.

Massive assassination! Can’t wait!

Numb. 1152 Next Station Extinction

 NYT: Who’s the Dodo Now? A Famously Extinct Bird, Reconsidered.

“[The dodo] seemed to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct.”

Well, what species isn't?

Take us and our cousins. Us leftover apes.
We also have had our share of escapes
from extinction but with the distinction
we are extinguishers not extinguishees.
The difference between us, I suppose is,
they have more hair and we larger noses.

Numb. 1151 God Awe Full

Why in hell would Satan bother

to try to destroy life on Earth?

Can't Beelzebub see all of God's chosen

are going at it for all they are worth?

Tho' they disagree, it seems, on details

each knows he's — she's? — THE ONE

divinely protected, heaven-selected

to bring blessed perfection to everyone.

Non-believers, of course, will scoff.

(Until believers finish us off.)

Proof of this thesis is overabundant.

Religion renders all devils redundant.

Numb. 1150 Rate Cut

Federal Reserve cuts lending rate
just because Darn Old “won” the debate.
With jobs on the line after election,
they figured this their best protection.
Despite degrees, they’re Darn Old smart,
don’t want to end up greeters at Walmart.

Numb. 1149 Darn Old, Quo Vadis?

Darn Old, an evil clown,

is only up when everyone’s down

both around him or farther away.

BIG daddy issues, is what I say.

His actual ego, a tiny pinpoint,

however much he may self-anoint

his brain, his golf game, his “genius” IQ.

Much ado, nada, let me tell you

a thing or two. Fragility,

vulnerability, his inability

to deal the child inside.

Forever seeking places to hide

from threats and monsters — mostly made up  —

teasing, tormenting this poor little pup.

Fred — Bad Dad — stares from the mirror,

asking which — Roy or he? — is the queerer.

Not, perhaps, in perversional frequency,

but in inability to display decency.

Apprenticed to Cohn, learning to con,

Darn Old arose above and beyond.

In the end, mentor destroyed himself.

Can Darn Old polish off everyone else?