Numb. 1027 The Trump Pal Putsch, January 7, 2021 (or Mining The President's Kampf)

Though we may, yesterday, have suffered a setback,

In the end, we WILL prevail.

I can not contemplate all of my patriots

accepting the lie that we failed.

That I did not win in a landslide.

As I have, heretofore, tweeted.

Given the size of my germ-craving crowds,

there is NO WAY I was defeated.

Next time: be better prepared.

Shoot first, ask questions later.

Crazy old Nancy must be locked up.

Don't count on Cruz to debate her.

Swifty deploy the Avy, the Narmy,

the Space-Air-Ghost-Card-Maureens.

The time is ripe, this is our hour.

Keep me in power. By ANY means.

Pence, of course, must follow orders.

And NOT Constipation … Whatever.

Then, only then, can I continue.

Playing the savior. Forever and ever.

As it is, it's a SAD business:

this ILLEGAL, UNFAIR transition

to government by Socialist Joe.

And may it go to perdition.

Numb. 1025 Civilization And Its Gross Defects (or Eugenic Or Not Eugenic)

There are hardly any “crazy” wild animals.

Amongst our pets there are some.

Also among those we farm for food.

But in the wild … nary any. How come?

Could it be that dogs, cows, and cats

only go nuts when they're with us?

That Nature, absent our butting in,

finds dysfunction superfluous?

Along with the other defects 

which turn us into degenerate wrecks.

Whether you're scaly or feathered or furry,

Nature's no place for you if you vision is blurry.

So, too, I conjecture with mental disorders.

In Nature these are soon gone.

But we being “civilized” — because we care —

we nurture shortcomings. We pass them on.

Yet one more strain in the human dilemma.

Like we really need another problema?

Numb. 1024 Trump U Math

Add the scores of all NFL games

to my Georgia votes and I win.

Sleepy Joe picks something between one to ten,

I pick eleven and — guess what? — I'm in.

Add the grains of sand on the beaches,

the number of stars on the sky,

the pounds of pollution I have unleashed …

and you can kiss Biden/Harris bye-bye.

All the best numbers, the bigliest ones —

automatically tacked on my score.

Except, that is, when I play golf …

way under par. Need I say more?

This, I tell ya, is just the beginning.

People like me, we just can't help winning.

Numb. 1023 A Message From The American Plastic Union National Council (APUNC)

From Everest's peaks to the Trench Mariana 

the world is suffused with our plastic.

So, too, are you. It's in what we eat.

We know what you're thinking: FANTASTIC!

Plastic is permanent, it lasts forever.

Plastic will make us immortal.

What's to discuss? Plastic is good for us.

(We suggest you suppress any urges to snortle.)

Plastic is mankind's greatest invention.

Better than fire. The wheel. Even farming.

It doesn't degrade, it's not into rusting.

Plastic is progress. It is not alarming.

Plastic won't harm us, no need to stop it.

What's the environment compared to profit?