Numb. 1100 Southern Christianity -101

The Guardian

Yoga can leave you injured, psychotic and a Hindu, Christian groups claim

Alabama lawmaker’s bid to overturn a 28-year yoga ban in public schools faces backlash from conservative Christian groups

PRACTICING YOGA will make you a Hindu.

Eating a bagel will turn you Jew.

One slice of pizza will make you Catholic.

One “fortune cookie” and bid Christ adieu.

Smoking tobacco makes you “Native American”,

so's you'll die from invaders' diseases.

Chipotle for dinner, et voilà you're Mexican.

We don't do no shit that displeases Jesus.

Bad, foreign stuff that causes hurt.

Natcherly then, we don't do yogurt.