Literacy: the root of all evil,
is exclusive to human beings.
It is my thesis that no other species
for lack of an alphabet could be as mean
as we are, far meaner by far
than sharks, alligators, or lions.
We are the meanest, dadgumest species
without breakin' a sweat or even half tryin'.
What makes us excel, damn it to hell:
the ability to write and to read,
enabling us to record and recall
each increasingly horrible deed
that we do and build upon it,
forever refining, improving, advancing,
enhancing the steps of our pointless tap dancing.
(And DO NOT get me started on home refinancing.)
Plants do not plan, nor do other animals,
nor did our ancestors, who were hunter-gatherers,
living, we guess, in peace (more or less),
not like us literate, inveterate blathers
who insist upon going on and on,
about glorious pasts and glamorous futures
disregarding what, in fact, we've accomplished:
pollution, H-bombs, mobile phones, and computers.
It is not our “art” that sets us apart.
Our ancestors hand printed their caves.
It's keeping a record of what we've done.
Lies that continue from beyond the grave,
enabling the worst of us to get even better
at despoliation and unnatural disruption,
increasing the benefits of defective intellects,
bathing the world in man-made destruction.
The world, as a hole, does not care one bit.
The world, unlike us, IS NOT literate.
The world does not, I think, think us evil.
IF she could think, she'd think us weevils.
