What I said last Wednesday was fine.
All I requested was somebody find
that the election was mine.
Many good people — the best people — say
I won in a sacred landslide,
that crooked Dem trickery robbed me of victory.
Sleepy Joe Biden? He's certified?
All I need is eight million votes.
(Why can't we count North Korea?
Dear pen pal Kim, wrote that to him,
my victory would be a sweet panacea.)
Mike Pence, it turned out, is a weasel,
a bastardly, backstabbing, traitor.
If he got sick I would be quick
to switch off his ventilator.
He accepted electors who voted against me!
A totally illegal HOAX.
I know Pence is dense, but he should have sensed
the hullabaloo that that would provoke
even if I had never said anything —
though what I said was, as I said, perfect —
American patriots, fathers and matriarchs,
were correct to object their votes disrespected.
The Boston Tea Party? Was that a “riot”?
The defensive stand of the Klan?
Proud people pushed, they're not gonna buy it.
Whatever happened was out of my hands.
NOT, let me say, that I espouse violence.
(I don't “espouse” anything long.)
Just let me stay for four more years?
You know I won. Let bygones be bygones?
All of these messes. (NOT of my making.)
I'm the only one who can fix 'em.
Illegal aliens. Covid. Climatized lies.
They land on my desk, I'm tough like Nixon.
24/7/365, I am a man for all hours.
(Can somebody, please, restore my Twitter.
My prickling thumbs miss their superpowers.)
FOX Business says Deutsche Bank just ditched me.
PGA ditto my Bedminster course.
It's sooo unfair. But I won't despair.
I'll rewrite the pre-nup and file for divorce.
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