Numb. 1126 Quelle Différence (plus Finis?)

HAD EAST vanquished WEST

had SOUTH conquered NORTH

what would be different?

Not much. Of course.

Winner or loser? It doesn't matter.

The result is ever the same.

Virtue prevails and evil's defeated.

Just ask the winners with skin in the game.

(NOT, mind, The BYSTANDER who stands aside,

cynically smirking, commenting snidely.)

Victors assure us, whatever their sins,

they are where they are because right always wins.

            FINIS?                    

TIME, we believe, to call it a day.           

At least, that is, for the moment.            

Will we return? That's hard to say.           

Depends, in a way, on who foments             

what, who loses the plot,                     

whether or not we go further to pot.          

Near daily near rhyming we can all do without.

Ergo, for now, BYSTANDER out …                

The Proprietor.         

 —30—                                         

Numb. 1125 Who Done It?

THERE HAS GOT TO BE SOMEONE behind it

whenever something goes wrong,

when it rains on your birthday,

when somebody sings THAT horrible song,

when your team — or your party! — loses (again!),

when the love of your life says, “Let's just be friends.”

For you to lose fairly is clearly impossible.

So when that happens, someone's responsible.

Someone's to blame. Perhaps even Adam.

It's a conspiracy. It DID NOT “just happen”.

Numb. 1124 Why Us?

WHY IS humanity such a calamity?

Why should our species persist?

We are the damnation of all creation,

It would be best if we ceased to exist.

Yes, children are cute.

As are lion cubs.

But both grow up.

Aye, there's the rub.

Lions, like us, gobble up grazers and kill other predators.

Aside from that, they don't do much harm.

We kill, we pollute … we do what suits us,

smarmily saying it's part of our charm.

Could it be (locally) we are Catch-22?

Our whole purpose is to destroy?

Were we deployed to end it all?

Or is it destroying is what we enjoy?

If we disappeared

would we be missed?

That's asked and answered.

Case dismissed with prejudice.

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Numb. 1123 A Question

WILL WE EVER get over magical thinking in re economics and God?

Conceiving conceits, at best, inconceivable, believing them true however odd —

at odds with fact and mathematics (which are not acknowledged by unlatched fanatics)?

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Numb. 1122 Heavin's Gaetz

What do the Fates have in store for Matt Gaetz

while all the while he anticipates

further encounters with girls half his age?

(In Epsteinean circles, such things are the rage.)

If they are in high school, juniors or seniors,

it clearly falls under le vieux droit du seigneur.

And if they are younger? Well, what of that?

Mattie's a Trumper, no prevert Democrat

that sucks baby blood to keep itself young.

Mattie's a reptile Republican.

One of us lizards from outer space

who know we are THE MASTER RACE,

madcap, irrational lying machines.

And, yes, by by all means this includes Taylor Greene.

Mattie, along with our Little Marjie —

the present and future of Honest Abe's Party.

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Numb. 1121 Taxes (or Submitted For Your Approval)

Three Amigos

I want to pay taxes. I love this country. — Irving Berlin

Stumbling and Mumbling

January 01, 2016

Irving Berlin on taxes

The New York Times reports on how some of the US's richest men are dodging taxes. Compare this to the response of Irving Berlin when his lawyer offered him a tax shelter:

I want to pay taxes. I love this country.

He even wrote a song expressing this sentiment.

He said: “I owe all my success to my adopted country.” Had he stayed in Russia, he might well have died in a pogrom or the civil war. And even if he had lived, he certainly wouldn't have heard the jazz and ragtime music in his youth that inspired him to become a songwriter.

He embodied - knowingly so - a point made by Herbert Simon, that we westerners owe our fortunes not so much to our own efforts but to the good luck of living in societies which enable us to prosper - which have peace, the rule of law and material and intellectual resources:

When we compare average incomes in rich nations with those in Third World countries, we find enormous differences that are surely not due simply to differences in motivations to earn. Laziness is not a principal cause of poverty. A more plausible explanation for the differences, in fact the explanation that is universally put forward, is that much greater resources per capita are available to some countries than to others. These differences are not simply a matter of acres of land or tons of coal or iron ore, but, more important, differences in social capital that takes primarily the form of stored knowledge...
When we compare the poorest with the richest nations, it is hard to conclude that social capital can produce less than about 90 percent of income in wealthy societies...On moral grounds, then, we could argue for a flat income tax of 90 percent to return that wealth to its real owners.

Now, songwriting is pretty much as individualistic an activity as one can find; But even songwriters require a conducive environment such as musical traditions on which to draw and a marketplace for their work. Berlin knew this: 1930s Siberia had no equivalent of Tin Pan Alley or Hollywood.

If even songwriters owe their wealth to social capital, how much more true is this of hedge fund managers.They would be nothing without wealthy investors or large liquid financial markets: how many billionaire fund managers are there in Burkina Faso?

Which poses the question: why, then, don't hedge fund managers have the same attitude to paying tax as Irving Berlin? It could be that they are more motivated than he was by personal greed. But there might be another reason - unlike him, they believe their wealth is the product of their own "talent" and so they are entitled to it. Some might call this neoliberal ideology - the idea that we are the architects of our own fate. Others of us prefer to call it an example of one of the disfiguring diseases of our time - narcissism.

Perhaps there's another explanation, though. Maybe hedge fund billionaires are greater geniuses than Irving Berlin who have contributed more to human happiness. But how likely is this?

Click

Numb. 1120 Futurity

WE SAPIENS [sic] can delay our extinction.

But is that a good idea?

Not that we can ever distinguish

good and bad, our record makes clear.

If acting on instinct we extinct our species 

what will evolve to replace us?

Whatever it is, will it speak English,

read the King James, divide into races?

(Bright shining faces, knowing their places?)

Will our replacements bring peace to the planet?

I call that unlikely since peace can not

exist where life persists. 

Life requires conflict, not prissy sissies.

Some other critter could do just as well,

turning the world into a hell.

There being nothing special about us,

I posit the Earth will go on without us.

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Numb. 1119 Andrea Doria Rhymes With Euphoria

OPTIMISTS SEEM to enjoy disappointment.

Which, to me, is perverse.

A pessimist realizes everything's bad

and tries to avoid making it worse.

Optimists wallow in magical thinking,

in wishing, in hoping, in prayer.

Rather than swallow “It'll get better”,

pessimists plead Candide by Voltaire.

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Numb. 1118 Write-in Voting Wrongs

IF YOU CAN NOT WIN by playing fair,

then you are entitled to cheat.

Knowing that you can never do wrong,

you do what you've got to to prevent defeat.

Whether you're Houston, whether you're Brady,

or an also-ran nag in some faded Derby

especially since you might have won anyway,

why choose to lose when cheating's child's play.

Under our system when people vote

everyone's vote counts the same!

How is this fair to millionaires?

Men who've got lots more skin in the game?

Poor people's votes must be kept to a minimum.

Convert Constitution to Condominium.

Whether you're naturalized or vote by birth,

your vote will amount to your net worth.

If you do not pay taxes — I can't be troubled! —

then, ipso facto, your vote will be doubled.

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Numb. 1117 Random Ideas For A Still More Perfect Union 2.0

ONCE DEMOCRAT PARTY is all outlawed,

we will never again gerrymander.

Every House seat will be perfectly safe.

(However, we'll still pander and slander.)

With voting limited to white men descended

from voters in our first election

and Johnny-come-latelies purged from the rolls, 

we will return to the Founders' conception.

What could be finer than war with China

while there's still a slight chance we could win it?

It's just an idea … but Kim's North Korea,

would be an ideal place to begin it.

As we read Ezequiel,

all else being equal:

Trump's second coming —

The Lord's prequel sequel.

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Numb. 1116 Protocols Of GOP Deadenders

WHEN CAN GOP again,

call climate change a China scam?

Burning coal and spewing gas

cannot wreck the world that fast!

Round about FOX channels go;

into poison'd discourse throw

“Linseed” Graham, “Dodger” Stone

to prove we've nothing to atone.

Boasts and lies swirl in the pot.

This we need to do, a lot.

Double, double toil and trouble;

fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

FOX fillets of fake news make

THE SQUAD burn at the stake;

lies of Newt and alt-right blogs;

Covid bats and Lincoln logs;

Mitch's chin; Ted Cruz's “thing”;

Hawley's fist; Cheney's singing

form a charm of woeful trouble,

like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

Double, double toil and trouble;

fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Despite the likes of Michael Wolff,

what we've done is bullet proof.

Incite a riot on a lark;

pillow talk of oligarch;

Stephen Miller, though a Jew,

a true NAZI through and through;

in perfect speech this past Jan. 6

from Donald's lips upon Ellipse,

“The outcome is still up for grabs.

In you I trust, brave Proudful Lads.

Grab ye must, or I'll be SAD.

Don't let Dems let brown kids in.

Brown skin is reptilian.

Double, double toil and trouble;

fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Cool it with antifa blood.

No harm done. Understood?”

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Numb. 1115 Data Day Decline

DATA TODAY grows exponentially.

More than enough each day for a century.

This explosion of disinformation,

disconnects effect from causation.

Everything's changing and everyone's leery

and tends to believe in conspiracy theories.

My fact to you is pure fiction.

As you'd expect, this causes friction.

Monster abounding 'neath all of our beds

force us to Reynolds Wrap up our heads.

You seek resolution? I'd not hold my breath.

The likely solution? A duel to the death.

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Numb. 1114 0 Man!

WOULD NOT it be best for the rest of “Creation”

were we to just to disappear?

That our “contributions” amount to subtractions,

news perused daily makes perfectly clear.

Hamlet says we're a “piece of work”,

though his intent, I expect, is ironic.

The Prince is, himself, a bit of a jerk.

Unlaconic. (Plus messianic.)

Good night chronic pests of little distinction.

Retired fleets of jets wing thee to extinction.

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Numb. 1113 How They Gonna Keep Us Down On The Farm

MANKIND EVOLVED to live in small groups.

A family, a tribe, or a clan.

Cities, towns, not even villages

were ever a part of the plan.

Nor was living among other animals.

(Where we would all share diseases.

Bad enough that “cousin” next door

never covers her mouth when she sneezes.)

It was unheard of to live in herds of

tens and hundreds of millions.

And crazy nuts to give up our huts

and pack ourselves into pavilions.

It's as if some single-cell master

noting how ants took up “farming”,

said, “What the hell, we might as well

gather these critters (delicious and warming),

pack them together so we can inspect them,

tighter and tighter so we can infect them

and when we're hungry we can select them

to feed upon and breed upon,

be they breathing or carrion.”

This may not be true, but I am suspicious.

We could be the livestock in their agribusiness.

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Numb. 1112 Lines Must Be [With]Drawn

WHAT IS THE POINT of having borders?

What do lines on a maps mean?

Okay, they may mark mountains and waters,

but, if they don't, they cannot be seen

as anything other than arbitrary —

something to note in obituaries:

“a lifelong resident of this or that place,

a credit/demerit to this or that ‘race’”.

(Another mistaken classification —

imagining an ephemeral “nation”.)

Yes, there ARE differences which are really real,

but things like these are not a big deal.

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Numb. 1111 From The Aynie Randy Handybook

WE DO NOT CARE what happens tomorrow.

Except at the end of the quarter.

If profits are up over previous year's,

that is just how things ought to be.

When they are not, it IS NOT our fault.

It's lazy workers and government meddling.

Each of us is a piece of John Galt,

we shrug off defeat and demand “happy endings”.

Aynie assures us we are the best.

How can anyone question her genius?

She couldn't be better, we guess, unless

in secret she grew a penis.

Not, of course, that we've read her.

At least, not since high school,

Reading! Come on! Who has the time?

(Except for Forbes, the Capitalist tool.

For a whore spanking, THE paradigm.)

Have a quick fuck. Make a quick buck.

Let tomorrow bring on whatever.

Just stack the deck, then say it's luck.

Admit being modestly clever.

Cheating's allowed. (DO NOT say that out loud!)

Everyone does it. (Or they get plowed.)

Never do good when you can do well.

NEVER be celibate. Celebrate hell.

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Numb. 1110 Little Dummy Ducker (or Un Good Satire Deserves A Lover)

Washington Post

Opinion: Do Tucker Carlson’s viewers take him at his word?

by Erik Wemple

“As for forcing children to wear masks outside, that should be illegal. Your response when you see children wearing masks as they play should be no different from your response to seeing someone beat a kid in Walmart, call the police immediately,” said Carlson. “Contact child protective services. Keep calling until someone arrives.”

Let’s assume that … Carlson was joshing or engaging in a thought exercise, and we here at the Erik Wemple Blog failed to pick up on the signals. That would mean that Carlson was satirically calling on people to report parents to child protective services …

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IS TUCKER SNARLSON actively gay?

Of course, I ask that satyrically.

Although he seemingly does lean that way,

it is hard to show it, empirically.

Appearing unnatural can be deceiving.

However, it's true that seeing's believing.

FOX viewers attuned to underachieving

are prone to swallow gastric upheaving.

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Numb. 1109 GOP Age Ender: Cancel Culture

TODAY'S GOP agrees: cancel culture.

Who needs music or “art”?

Get rid of the mess that is PBS.

What matter kids get a “Head Start”?

We love ALL kids. (In theory.) 

However, in practice, 

we oppose helping poor ones

'cuz it raises taxes.

And, in addition, we've superior knowledge

of what women want and who pays for college.

We follow the Bible on same sex marriage

and who God decrees we are free to disparage.

All those against us are plotters Satanic.

We fill our heads with things inorganic:

stopped clocks, noise fresh from FOX,

and, in particular, truckloads of rocks.

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Numb. 1108 0 Beautiful Voracious Lies

ALL AMERICAN White Protestant Men

can do whatever we like.

The Constitution is only for us.

Everyone else can go take a hike.

The Founding Fathers were Men like us.

When they said “all Men are equal”

they meant exclusively White Protestant Men.

All other people are clearly illegal.

When we say White Protestant Men,

we mean only North Europeans.

Scots, Scandinavians, English, Dutch, Welsh.

Protestant Swiss, Irish, and Germans.

Yes, of course, there are Protestant French.

But they eat garlic and give off a stench.

America is the land of the free

where All Men Are Equal if they are like me.

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Numb. 1107 0 Jerusalem!

WHAT ARE the odds, 

that three major gods

would choose for headquarters

an obscure backwater?

Even one god!

Forgotten or famous?

If we don't believe them,

how can they blame us?

Preachers of Scriptures,

pre- and proscripters,

to me seem scammers and fakes.

Except, to be clear, 

the mistaken sincere,

they abuse the deluded.

They don't give, they take.

I see monotheism as brain absenteeism,

an orphan's demand for attention.

We are alone. There is no padrone.

And, in addition, allow me to mention,

Jerusalem — never anything's center —

a highly unlikely religion placenta.

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Numb. 1106 The Problem With Joe

THE GOP PROBLEM with Joseph R. Biden is he is hard to hate.

They can't call him Atilla. Or Jill a “gorilla”. She is vanilla. He is sedate.

No shred of evidence — not a scintilla —

he's lacking ability to make us feel great.

Unlike former incumbent whose lies in abundance

and malignant misjudgment sane folks found repugnant

and who, at his apogee, fell below third rate.

Dog whistling and baiting to damage and savage,

I hate contemplating what they may manage.

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Numb. 1105 Separate And Equal?

“CONSERVATIVES” native language is ire

while “Liberals” speak mostly hopey.

As an admirer of neither choir,

it's hard say which I find dopier

as they race towards dystopia.

Two houses alike in righteousness

convinced the other is wrong,

proclaiming they can enlighten us.

And if you think otherwise, you don't belong.

Identical, save in the details

of what they say they believe.

Whoever's in power, actions reveal

practical differences are misperceived.

Each to the other a fitting sequel.

Proving — again! — all men are equal.

Sing, “Hey nonny, nonny.” 

Sing,  “Hey diddle, diddle.”

It's unsafe — though amusing —

to be in the middle.

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Numb. 1104 You Will Not Replace Us

“YOU WILL NOT replace us,” 

you can hear the full-of-fear shout.

As did countless others before.

Before they were … “driven out”.

It is dead certain. There is no doubt.

There is just one way these things turn out.

© Getty Images

Neanderthal Museum, Mettmann, Germany

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Numb. 1103 Any Got Your Guns?

GUNS ARE NOT the problem.

“The Problem” is too many people.

Too many targets not the free market

second addendum to Wee, the People.

Drop population by ninety percent,

let everyone fire when ready.

While there may be one or two wounded

it won't, on the whole, be terribly deadly.

Guns are for fun. Shooting excites.

Keen, keep, and bear. — The Bill Of Rights!

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Numb. 1102 Capitol Punishment

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT is a deterrent.

Dead people can't commit crimes.

Guy Fawkes poses no threat to the Queen.

Julius and Ethel no longer spy.

Nathan Hale got what he wanted.

The rebel was given his due.

So should it be with Trump Jan. Sixers:

arrest, swift conviction, and then … adieu.

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Numb. 1101 Solutions 101

LET'S DO AWAY WITH “progressives”

like Moses and Buddha and Christ.

And don't me started on Marx and Mohammed

and other purveyors of fools' paradises.

What we want is reactionaries.

Real ones, not stuck-in-the-muds,

who will REACT to new situations

instead of prescribing hand-me-down duds.

Chances are scant our ancestors “answers”

to questions they could not conceive

can yield a good outcome though there is no doubt some

Conservative dupes will always believe.

Review the facts. Recheck your resources.

Estimate what you can do.

Prepare for the worst and, fingers crossed,

you may survive 'til the next great todo.

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Numb. 1100 Southern Christianity -101

The Guardian

Yoga can leave you injured, psychotic and a Hindu, Christian groups claim

Alabama lawmaker’s bid to overturn a 28-year yoga ban in public schools faces backlash from conservative Christian groups

PRACTICING YOGA will make you a Hindu.

Eating a bagel will turn you Jew.

One slice of pizza will make you Catholic.

One “fortune cookie” and bid Christ adieu.

Smoking tobacco makes you “Native American”,

so's you'll die from invaders' diseases.

Chipotle for dinner, et voilà you're Mexican.

We don't do no shit that displeases Jesus.

Bad, foreign stuff that causes hurt.

Natcherly then, we don't do yogurt.

Numb. 1099 Relativity

HOMER won no Nobel Prize.

He is not in the Rock Hall Of Fame.

Nevertheless, there are those who suggest

his verses scan better than some they could name.

The world of the future, they say, will know Homer.

Singing his praises, they'll honor him,

rather than rhymes long since forgotten

that may have once blown in the wind.

Numb. 1098 A Case of Emergency

THE TOMORROW you hoped for's been cancelled.

Also the day after that.

And the next and the next and the next and the next …

You get what I'm saying? You get where we're at?

You say this isn't the end of the line?

Things'll get better? It'll be fine?

You say disaster can turn on a dime 

making things peaceful and everyone kind?

You think civilization's predicted death

only an out-of-date shibboleth?

Well … if you're high on crystal meth!

Otherwise, don't hold your breath.

Numb. 1097 Trump .45

TRUMP was in '46 born.

(His certificate could not be a lie.)

And let me emphasize: not in Mombasa.

He is a Queens' Mob boss sorta guy.

Conceived in four-five — this 45th prexy.

The one who attempted a coup?

Forty-five? It is clear and evident.

Not so big a bullet and his IQ.

Numb. 1096 A Brief History Of Us

SEVERAL MILLENNIA before today,

we figured out about fire.

As the ice melted away

we spread near everywhere —

weaving and bobbing, 

potting and farming.

Fitting an axle on to a wheel.

That was, perhaps, our BIGGEST deal.

Stones. Sticks and bones. 

Eventually metal.

We used to hunt-gather. 

(And settle scores.)

After a binge

we invented hinges,

evermore leveraging

opening doors.

What did it matter?

What is the point?

Time forever is out of joint.

Tea, cakes, and ices cause diabetes.

Civilization is a disease.

Soon we may live on Mars and the moon,

yet our comings and goings remain picayune.

Not as important as we like to think.

When we go extinct, no one will blink.

Methinks 'tis the reason we take to drink.

Numb. 1095 Impersonal Pronouns

IN ENGLISH we say “the dog or cat THAT”, 

NOT “the dog or cat WHO”. 

“WHO's” we reserve for We the People,

WHO we mean when we claim all MEN are Equal.

You eat or your're eaten. Loser or winner.

It is déclassé to say, “WHO is for dinner?”

SO … all you losers, WHO we have beaten:

had you been THAT's, you'd have been eaten.

Numb. 1094 GOP Voter Suppression (Plan B)

OKAY, SO MEBBE, we cain't change the law

t' stop you-know-whos votin'.

The lyin'-est goldurn LIBRUL press

gloats when revealin' our sugar coatin'

whatever measures we try to deploy

t' kip down them folks our daddies called “Boy!”.

Therefore, we gotta discourage 'EM

from getting Covid injections.

We gotta say “Tuskegee syphilis” 

'n' question injectors actu'l intentions.

Don't need no laws, thas whut I say. 

Ain't gonna vote if they dead, anyway.

Numb. 1093 Where is the DEEP STATE when you need it most?

ON THE FATAL DAY when Donald was born,

at 10:54 on that June 14 morn

why didn't DEEP STATE use Doc Brown's DeLorean?

A wee pillow placed on the bairn's little head

would have been better than what happened instead.

And as a bonus we'd have been spared the lowness

of his foisting Junior, Ivanka, and Eric upon us.

Numb. 1092 Philosophy (Our Prosperous Phosphorus Folly)

SLASH AND BURN and then move on.

Whacha call civilization?

Use it all until everything's gone.

Waste no time on cogitation.

The Earth is our comfort station.

Numb. 1091 Who, What, When, Where, Y (And HOW!)

IS MASCULINITY toxic today? 

Has it EVER been otherwise?

If you insist, “Men can be kind.”

Could be they're gay. But … never mind.

Boys will be boys, men will be men,

raping and pillaging with a few friends.

Numb. 1090 Now It Can Be Asked

Charles O'Rear

© Microsoft

Do you remember when Windows XP

had a default desktop called “Bliss”?

Did Apple somehow engineer this?

If Redmond got spoofed, there is your proof.

Bliss = Ignorance. AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH!

Numb. 1089 Mayflies, Smilin' At Me

MAYFLIES, I believe, would pity us.

If mayflies could find the time to.

Not that they can. With their lifespan,

pity is not something mayflies incline to.

If  a mayfly thought of the fusses we make, 

living our too many years,

she would in sadness her tiny head shake,

and she would shed mayfly briny tears.

She'd say it's a crime, wasting your time

on matters so unsubstantial:

music and art, politics, nonsense.

Religion. All things financial.

Juvenile mayflies mature for a year.

Adults die in a day.

“Born” with the dawn, dead at sunset,

and yet, don't forget, they convey DNA.

Mayflies, despise inefficiency.

Mayflies never do dawdle.

Mayflies, unlike us, intelligently

do just what they are born to.

Mayflies know what LIFE is about.

They remember what we do not.

They concentrate on propagating.

Mayflies tend to “Begat” a lot.

Click

Numb. 1088 Lookout Or Outlook?

WE'VE GOT Covid.

We've got pollution.

Inequitable wealth

and health distribution.

A broke Constitution,

dying seas rising,

polar downsizing. 

Mass discontent

isn't surprising.

We've got anti-vaxxers,

GOP lower taxes,

unbreathable air
near everywhere,

politicians unthinkable,

water undrinkable,

and, like Titanic,

we think we're unsinkable.

We've got desertification

crumbling nations.

We've disconnected 

effect from causation.

We've got declining fertility,

less social mobility.

We are incapable 

of truth distinction,

here on the brink

of mass extinction.

The weather is running amok.

Everything's coming unstuck.

We've got sexual predators

writing letters to editors.

With jobs disappeared,

who can pay creditors?

“To be”, the verb, 

is no longer copular.

Baseball, our passtime, 

ain't all that popular.

Could this all

be somehow oracular?

The world is shot. 

How long's it got?

Rome, as they say,

wasn't kilt in a day.

But Rome dead end.

That us the trend.

Thank Phenobarbital,

we've nothing to dread, at all.

Numb. 1087 Toward A Permanent Majority

WE CAN ACHIEVE a forever majority

restricting voting to our minority:

WHITE, ancestral NORTH-Europeans, 

perfectly STRAIGHT, unquestioning Christians,

who hold the BIBLE the ONLY authority

and owning guns the highest priority,

believers that life begins at conception,

(though they'd abort Liberals, without exception),

anti-vaxxers for lower taxes,

who hate sin in theory — if not in practice —

who think “climate change” a Liberal-Chink hoax —

good GOP moaks, our kind of folks —

who seek to accelerate OUR LORD's second coming,

who see life on Earth as down-market slumming,

who easily separate depraved from saved, 

who, given the chance, would reinstate slavery,

who are anti-Union and pro-Confederate,

who know organized labor is completely degenerate,

who think blond hair and blue eyes is what God's got,

and if you believe otherwise, they'll have you shot.

Numb. 1086 Missionary Position

The New York Times

Opinion

He’s a Famous Evangelical Preacher, but His Kids Wish He’d Pipe Down

The Rev. Rick Joyner has called on Christians to arm themselves for civil war. But his children would be on the other side.

Click

ALL WHO OPPOSE US are purely evil.

They realize, of course, we are right.

It's known far and wide that God's on our side,

that we are the most perfect people in sight.

We can not be safe while enemies chafe at

their God-decreed inferiority.

We have determined their termination

is our number one most important priority.

Whatever it takes to fill the bill.

We dast not be squeamish. It is God's will.

Numb. 1085 Mob Rule

IF THE MOB took over the GOP,

that would not be dramatic.

Despite that fact that historically

the Mafia was Democratic.

One gun, one vote is Mafia Law —

the same as the NRA's is,

although Mafiosi shoot more indoors

and NRA-GOP often deplores

the fusses resulting from such behaviors.

On the other Black Hand, the GOP plan:

absorb THE MOB, combine THE KLAN.

MOB or PARTY? Which would prevail?

The danger is grave, until BOTH are in jail.

Numb. 1084 The Sky IS NOT Falling Just Yet

Much-feared asteroid Apophis won't hit Earth for at least 100 years, Nasa says

Chunk of space rock was once the ‘poster child for hazardous asteroids’ but it will be a while before humans need to worry about it again

The asteroid Apophis was thought to be a risk of hitting Earth in 2068. Photograph: AP

Click

We have to assume we'll get through this.

We have to assume we'll survive.

We have to assume, not a moment too soon,

the miracle happens, the cavalry arrives.

BUT … if our assumptions are simply presumptions

based on nothing but wishes,

AND, begging the question, suggest the suggestion

may not we all soon sleep with the fishes?

Hope springs eternal. A notion infernal

which nevertheless served us well,

added illusion, enhanced delusion,

diverted conclusion it's all gone to hell.

Such is the nature of Freud's Life Drive.

We've condemned to assume we'll come out alive.

Today this is seen as increasingly quaint

as many now realize that true it ain't.

Forget the future, choose present instead.

As Keynes often warned in the long run we're dead. 

Numb. 1083 Status Quo Vadis

The Russians tried fixing 

their Communist system.

They could not fix it.

They had to deep-six it.

As we tinker with Capitalism

we find it is much the same.

There is no system that works forever.

There is no system that can not be gamed

by wheelers and dealers whose iffy appeals

bring out the worst in us all

and we buy-in to too-good-to-be deals,

ignoring, as always, the words on the wall.

Sooner or later your tents will fold.

Sooner or later you're out in the cold.

Circumstance is not an impertinence.

The permanent thing is impermanence.

Numb. 1082 Know Thorn Hemisphere

Bodies of water are never forever.

Seas, lakes, and gulfs come and go.

Fed by springs, streams, and rivers

which, apart and together, go with the flow.

Puddles dry up, continents drift,

mountains arise in tectonic shifts.

The world rearranges, everything changes.

Do not form attachments to mountain ranges.

Empires rise. Empires fall.

What, after all, is the point of it all?

What matter which actor wins which award?

Who sets what record? What is outlawed?

Things come apart, things coalesce.

Every which way, it is a mess.

Today I find everything so depressing.

But, then again, that's what I do every Spring.

Numb. 1081 American Exceptionalism (Covid edition)

For other countries, Covid is good.

'Bout time THEY learned their lesson.

But it must be understood,

THE U.S. IS THE EXCEPTION.

Cause and effect do not apply

in our shining city high on the hill,

I can not see why they'd bother to try

given our pluck, what with our will.

We are the good guy, in the white hat.

We breathe free, we need no mask.

Covid can't hurt us, and that is that.

(We're divorced from reality, if you need to ask.)

If Covid-19 is Nature's attempt

to combat a pest infestation,

the record will show we are exempt,

in our fantastical imagination.

With our God-given exceptionalism,

we will be safe as end time approaches.

Although this belief causes derision,

we'll laugh here after. Along with the roaches.

Numb. 1080 Spamming Sperm (a version)

SPERM IS biological SPAM.

What is the point of either?

So much ejaculate stuff.

And the result is that lies are

made and innocents played.

I find this extremely distasteful.

Not only that, it is wasteful.

Hundreds of millions, and but one “succeeds” …

why does supply so exceed need?

Where is the wisdom in this cock-eyed system?

Cheap to produce, a breeze to let loose …

the “payoff” is way off and not guaranteed.

Numb. 1079 Immigration Reform

GET THE HELL back where you come from.

To the lands where your ancestors lived.

There is no place for foreigners here,

dirty and dumb, with too many kids.

That goes for last century's Eyeties,

and the previous hundred years' Micks,

the Polacks, the Yids, the Krauts, the Chinks …

EVERYONE, 'specially murdering Spics.

This means you too, blimey Limeys,

you Frogs, you grog-drunken Dutch.

And the descendants of African slaves,

who did not choose to come here, as such.

As to “indigenous” people, 

Redskin and Eskimo,

whose forefathers arrived somewhat earlier.

You, too, will have to go

back where you belong.

Every man jack, to be specific.

Once YOU PEOPLE are back in Africa,

the world, for us, will be terrific.

We NEANDERTHALS wandering continents,

gadding about uncontested,

free of you damnable “sapien” apes

to hunt and gather. As God intended.

Click

Numb. 1078 Bitcoin (or Nought Pieces Of Ate)

BITCOIN IS this mania's tulip.

One you can't eat by mistake.

In spite of hype and pretty pictures,

bits exist only in cyberspace.

When, as it's bound to, the power grid fails,

no calling “Heads”, no turning “Tails”.

Disappeared bits leave nought to purloin.

There is no THING that is Bitcoin.

Numb. 1077 Justification By Wealth — Elon (a Libertarian celebration)

IN MERIT-ocracy, those who lack merit

do not have rights.

Neither do those whose abilities withered.

They forfeit, therewith, the right to high life.

Down the tubes, losers and rubes.

This is what fairness demands.

Yesterdays fester? Join your ancestors.

Comply, no crying, no wringing of hands.

The old, the sick, the weak, the disabled,

I deem you all undesirable. Those I've labeled

unworthy or useless — wasters of space —

can not be a part of MY MASTER RACE:

Wealth Creators, Rulers Supreme,

every last manjack a near-divine being.

What we do is what merit means.

The rest, I attest … a hill of beans.

The whole universe revolves about us.

Everyone else is superfluous.

If what you do, nobody needs,

that is not merit. That is a weed.

We are the core. We are fundamental.

We are essential. We are transcendental.

By our abilities, the world succeeds.

We are entitled to celebrate greed.

Numb. 1076 Sugar, Spice, Snips, And Snails (for our time)

EVOLUTION encourages aggression in males.

Do NOT try to say it does not.

If something succeeds, helps spreading seeds,

that's the whole the story, the point of the plot.

FEMALES, generally smaller, rely

on craft and cunning and guile.

This significant difference must explain why

far fewer females wind up in jail.

Numb. 1075 Genetic Disability

Y-CHROMOSOME syndrome: 

a pre-existing condition

for which there isn't a cure.

Furthermore, there isn't a treatment.

The disease must be endured.

Carriers, happily, show no ill effects.

Effects affect those with double X.

Numb. 1074 Succor Carl's Son

The Guardian

Tucker Carlson's targeting of Taylor Lorenz follows pattern of berating female journalists

              *   *   *   ¯\_😲_/¯   *  *  *

His mother, a bohemian, left the family when he was six … [Carlson and his younger brother, Buckley] never saw her again. “Totally bizarre situation—which I never talk about, because it was actually not really part of my life at all,” Carlson says.  — THE NEW YORKER, April 10, 2017

              *   *   *   ¯\_😈_/¯   *  *  *

WHY Tucker disparages autonomous women?

A mother who fled his rhyming name?

Did this give rise to schoolyard taunting?

Was this the cause of unbearable shame?

Tucker Carlson, 1975
The Buckley School
BuzzFeed News/Wikipedia

 OF COURSE, in due course, Tucker did wed.

 His headmaster's daughter, in fact.

 For his “career”? Perhaps a “beard”?

 Something to keep his “manhood” in tact?

 HOW is it all FOX-men look closeted?

 And FOX-women like past best-buy-date whores?

 I can not imagine what happens in [off?] camera,

 stuff they get up to behind closed doors.

Numb. 1073 By Partisan

People avow beliefs passing strange

which, somehow, gather adherents.

Think religion. Think politics. Think economics.

Fields known to be prone to incoherence. 

Some people forever fall into error.

Not us, of course. We're ever so clever.

Unfailingly able to suss out THE TRUTH.

Which, in itself, is our ABSOLUTE PROOF.

Proof we (exclusively) know what we're about.

Proof we're superior without a doubt.

Proof we are God's (or history's) tool.

Proof, if you disagree, you are a fool.

A degenerate reprobate. A skunk. A weasel.

Co-existence with you is unnatural, unfeasible.

Your distorted positions are reprehensible.

Your continued existence is indefensible.

Numb. 1072 Hunt

The creature, I think, sensed the danger

as I closed in for the kill.

Yes, it was wary and it found me scary and

it sensed my lack of good will.

It hurriedly scurried but I was too quick.

(The finish took barely two seconds.)

Barehanded I blocked it, I squished it, coldcocked it.

'Twas a near painless end, I would reckon.

Was I justified in taking a life?

Did the creature have a husband, a wife?

Is violence — ever — the correct approach?

What does it matter that I splashed a roach?

A creature, like me, trying just to get by.

What right had I to say it must die?

Should it happen again, will I relent?

Probably not. I pay the rent.

I suppose, in some ways, I swerve Conservative:

if you can't pay, you don't deserve to live.

And if your existence on mine encroaches,

I will dispatch you. If you are roaches.

That said, CONSERVATIVES (in upper case)

care not a jot about species or race.

They see it ALL as moral problems

and killing opponents is the way they solve them.

Knowing that they are beyond reproach,

they are free to see us as roaches

who can be despatched with nary a qualm.

That we exist disturbs their calm.

If we lower orders now seem disgruntled,

think how we'll feel next time we're hunted.

Numb. 1071 The Road To Unwell Is Paved With Bad Inventions

There are so many people alive today

who really shouldn't be here.

“Best intentions” and civilization

created conditions where we are

too myopic to see without glasses,

so overweight we're slow as molasses,

with uber-, middle-, and lower-classes,

ensconced on the couch, flat on our asses.

Civilization, along with religion,

says aid people not “up-to-speed”.

So, unlike ALL other species,

within our unkind the “unfit” succeed

in propagating defective traits

which practical species dismiss.

That is why you never will see

specimens of nearsighted fish.

(In ancient Sparta, newborn “defectives”

were put out on hillsides to die.

A practice, perhaps, a tad too selective

that, today, few would abide by.

Although, I should note 

for “pro-lifers” who vote

on THAT issue alone, 

this might float your boat.)

American — i.e. WHITE CHRISTIAN — “Civilization”

is what many proclaim the base of our nation

as they propound their SELECTIVE humanity.

Selective or otherwise, is that our calamity?

Is this “humanity” blessing or curse?

Is it us at our best or we at our worst?

Care for the needy, while all fine and peachy,

might be a dead end for our self-righteous species …

We can not tell, but, after all,

is that what befell the Neanderthal?

Decrepit old uncles, gouty old louts,

'round the campfire? Then they died out?

Instead had they followed Aleut advice

and pushed dear old granny out on the ice … ?

“It's not that she's useless or that we don't care,

but it does help to feed the odd polar bear.”

The final exam for survival of fittest:

the strongest, the fastest, the quick wittedest.

The results are in and are here unveiled.

We regret to inform you, the lot of you failed.

Numb. 1070 On Compassing

We never can answer “Are we there yet?”

since we never know where we're going.

“Hell. In a handbasket!” seems a safe bet,

when my irascibility's showing.

Whichever way anyone leans,

someone will say, “ARE YOU NUTS?

We can NOT go THERE! NOT by ANY means!

And if you try, I'll rip out your guts!”

Any direction, upon reflection

is bound to offend someone, somewhere.

Any selection will cause an objection

and quickly lead you to nowhere.

Even not choosing is surely a losing 

strategy. Some will insist moving on.

Every direction makes an amusing

tragedy. Sooner or later, everything's gone.

A minute, an hour, a day, a year,

before you know it will all disappear.

And as for “history”, the takeaway

is: “What IN hell was THAT about anyway?”

It rains on “the just” and “the unjust” alike.

Should we tell LIFE, “Go take a hike?”

Should we laugh? Should we cry? 

Should we smile? Should we frown?

Why bother to try … ?

It's the one game in town.

Numb. 1069 Texas Miranda Last Rights

You have the right to be stupid.

You have the right to not wear a mask.

You have the right to get Covid and die.

You have the right to a plain pine box casket.

You have the right to refuse an injection.

You have the right to be a right fool.

You have the right to “live” to Texas.

(And sit, if you like, on a two-legged stool.)

You have the right to be inconsiderate.

You have the right to act like an idiot.

You have the right to be a jerk.

That is how a democracy works.

You have the right to do for yourself,

you Texas dumbasses, BUT NO ONE ELSE!

Numb. 1068 In The Beginning

Commemorative of our first edition. 

“Rhyme For The Day”

Monday, March 6, 2017

Poor little Donald.

Oh, how it stings.

Barack taps his wires.

Vlad pulls his strings.

Spicey complains.

Conway “explains”.

Mikey waits in the wings.

(Who knows where the time went?)

Numb. 1067 Over The River

With every other predator species

we wish their numbers controlled.

While with our own — depending on skin tone —

the goal is forever increasing the fold.

Content, we contend making more of us

will clean up the messes we've caused.

What is this purported exceptionality 

that we feel frees us from natural laws?

Created by God, evolved to be “best”,

or invertebrate-inveterate, hubristic pests?

Numb. 1066 GOP Coalition: Traditional Conservatives

We deplore the sun's setting, 

despise its arising,

abhor all things not of our devising.

We oppose destabilizing

a status quo we find energizing.

Numb. 1065 Wishes Aren't Horses

It is fiction that virtue will manage.

Virtue, in fact, performs below average.

If you are looking for an advantage,

chances improve if you go savage.

It is not likely we'll “save” the planet.

It's foolish to think that we could.

If we eke out a year or two more,

then we can say, “Damn, we done good!”

Numb. 1064 On In Lightening

The Western conception Buddhist Enlightenment 

is irredeemably flawed.

Understanding is not a bolt of lightning, 

more of a nearly heard drone or a plod

which can culminate in a EUREKA! moment 

if years of hard work coalesce,

if, in a second, things fall into place 

if, for a moment, it all makes sense,

if delusions dissolve, if confusions collapse,

if you can take comfort in a perhaps. 

Achieving Buddhahood is not the norm.

If you have heard otherwise, you've been misinformed.

Numb. 1063 Random Rhymes For Overwrought Times (or Sum Of The Parts)

Life.

Civilization is the antithesis

that has led to whatever this is.

The human timeline does not scale to reality.

This, while true, is a banality.

We can not see beyond our mortality.

We distort to support a purport of morality.

Among things Liberals don't factor

is the practice a Civil War reenactor

gets for the next one by playing the last.

Though Covid may act as distraction,

backed by stacked SCOTUS and billionaire faction,

a vict'ry for Dixie this time should come fast.

Why is it that anti-vaxxers

refuse to pay income taxes?

Before you say, “Not that one again”,

is PayPal run from the Vatican?

Numb. 1062 Litter It Pests

Literacy: the root of all evil,

is exclusive to human beings.

It is my thesis that no other species

for lack of an alphabet could be as mean

as we are, far meaner by far

than sharks, alligators, or lions.

We are the meanest, dadgumest species

without breakin' a sweat or even half tryin'.

What makes us excel, damn it to hell:

the ability to write and to read,

enabling us to record and recall

each increasingly horrible deed

that we do and build upon it,

forever refining, improving, advancing,

enhancing the steps of our pointless tap dancing.

(And DO NOT get me started on home refinancing.)

Plants do not plan, nor do other animals,

nor did our ancestors, who were hunter-gatherers,

living, we guess, in peace (more or less),

not like us literate, inveterate blathers

who insist upon going on and on,

about glorious pasts and glamorous futures

disregarding what, in fact, we've accomplished:

pollution, H-bombs, mobile phones, and computers.

It is not our “art” that sets us apart.

Our ancestors hand printed their caves.

It's keeping a record of what we've done.

Lies that continue from beyond the grave,

enabling the worst of us to get even better

at despoliation and unnatural disruption,

increasing the benefits of defective intellects,

bathing the world in man-made destruction.

The world, as a hole, does not care one bit.

The world, unlike us, IS NOT literate.

The world does not, I think, think us evil.

IF she could think, she'd think us weevils.

Numb. 1061 QAnon Believer Mad Scene Soliloquy, Take #42 (or Magical Thinking On Steroids)

Life amid the ruins of QAnon: ‘I wanted my family back’

I am for Trump, for Q, for God.

I follow orders. I am a fan.

I believe FOX leans Liberal Left.

I believe we must just trust THE PLAN.

I believe END TIMES are upon us.

I believe Armageddon is here.

Although he “studied” under Roy Cohn,

I can't believe Donald is queer.

Peculiar, perhaps, but that is normal,

for someone so handsome and rich.

If I leaned that way, I'd “do him” myself.

I mean … sonofabitch!

He can't be gay, he's hot for his daughter.

The skinny one, not the fat slob.

And, anyway, he screws models and porn stars.

Which goes to show, he isn't a snob.

When on March 4, he is resurrected,

when Donald — triumphant — returns,

when THE STORM we've been promised, at last, descends on us,

when we get that for which we yearn,

when pedophile Democrats are punished in earnest,

hung upside down from gas station signs,

when antifa terrorist are drawn and quartered,

our sun will shine. We'll be fine. (For a time.) 

Until then, clean your guns and be patient.

Lie low. (You could pretend to be dead.)

Stay alert! But relaxed. Don't get complacent.

But whatever you do, DO NOT TAKE YOUR MEDS!

Numb. 1060 Invictus Dismissed (or What Can You Do?)

SOMETHING, undoubtedly, happened 

a billion or so years ago

setting in motion the planet's commotion.

Just what it was we never will know.

Some aging star may have exploded,

two atoms might have combined.

Whatever it was, whenever it happened,

it can't be undone, we can't hit rewind.

Whatever will happen, WILL happen.

There is not a whole lot you can do.

I would not contemplate or think of debating

with FATE, if I were you.

One step, one game, one day at a time, 

towel in hand always — or at least in sight —

look down to third for coach's sign,

take the first two, then hit to right.

Numb. 1059 Voting: Aboriginal Intent (soon to be amended)

The founders never intended democracy.

Check out THE CONSTITUTION*.

They wrote REPUBLIC (where WEE PEOPLE vote),

not “equal and free” AOC prostitution.

What SHE calls “restrictions” WE call INTENT,

returning to what THE ORIGINALS meant.

As WHITE MEN OF PROPERTY, WE get to vote.

As for THE REST OF YOU … “that's all she wrote”.

——————————— 

*Article IV, Section 4

The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence. 

THAT means all over: game, match, and set. 

What part of REPUBLICAN do YOU not get?