Numb. 1017 Greetings

WHEN they graduated from law school eight close friends,

Aram G. Bemerian

William A. Bright

Frederick Douglas Days

Hussein En-Mayal

Angela Mayor

Roger W. M. Musserbee III

Tinisha X. White

and Iris C. Yorkris,

despite their varying backgrounds, interests and political leanings, vowed to one day form their own firm. 

TWENTY-FOUR years flew by.

 

THOUGH they had kept “in touch” through the alumni bulletin and annual December holiday letters, dispersed as they were to major firms (law and otherwise), private practice, politics, elected and appointed office, they had forgotten their plan until last December when each, completely unbeknownst to all others, mentioned it in the annual letter.

RECOGNIZING that this had to be more than a remarkable coincidence, they decided to talk it over at their twenty-fifth reunion. 

 

LAST June at the reunion (on ZOOM, of course) and discussed the idea and decided that they were ready to take the plunge. 

 

ACCORDINGLY, each wrapped up his or her practice, job, elected or appointed office and on December 20, they announced the formation of their new firm:

         Mayor Days Bemerian Bright

    En-Mayal Yorkris Mussersbee White.

Keep the Soul in Solstice,

The PROPRIETOR.

Numb. 1016 Looking Ahead With Some Trumpadation

The beast is fierce. And he's wounded.

There is no telling what he might do.

There's reason to fear getting too near.

His lair is NOT a petting zoo.

Even unharmed he attacked the unarmed.

A trait he considers part of his charm.

“Always attack, stab front and back.

Quick, easy victory. If you've got the knack.”

And let me stress, he's known naught but success.

(Though bloating suggests he over-ingests.)

A hero complete, immune to defeat.

(He can dance without moving his feet.)

He knows he's been cheated. How else could he lose?

But with Bibi and Jared, he can not blame THE JEWS.

That is a pity. Still all loyal followers

attribute his sorrows to people like Soros.

And scheming, deceased, Hispanic dictators

abetted and aided by domestic traitors

who stole sure triumph from his large, manly hands.

Is there no succor? JUSTICE DEMANDS!

In less than a moon-month from this very day

will he, in peace — and for good — go away?

Or will he take arms against troubled seas

and conquer them all. (As he did disease.)

Will he resort to martial law?

Release the kraken, unleash dogs of war?

Do what he must, clearing the field?

One thing is certain: he'll never yield.

Would he accept as validation

presidency of the Confederate Nation?

Be Tsar of the Proud Boys in NRA-land?

Or will the sun set on Donald's Last Stand?

(To all appearances it's not here or there,

but Donald, like Custer, has long yellow hair.)

Numb. 1015 Our Place In The Universe

Is there a comet with Earth's name upon it?

Has a meteor drawn a bead on the planet?

Will a godsend from Mother N

demolish completely our world, goldurnit?

The Universe is a very big place,

The Earth is a tad less impressive.

A spot on a dot, a dust mote in space.

A sphere there could not be much less of.

We are, if you please, but holes in cheese.

An emptiness within the void.

If we were destroyed by an asteroid

no one would be miffed or annoyed.

Numb. 1014 The Coup-Coup Crock

I don't want to be PRESINET.

I do it just to be NICE.

Consider the money and heartache it costs me,

I've paid a helluva price.

I've had to actually sit with Mike Pence —

low-IQ, real boring guy —

who does not enjoy boy-to-boy talk

and balks when I mention great tits and thighs.

Then there's McConnell — the son of a bitch —

who acts on his own (buy enlarge) 

and refuses to do what I tell him to,

ignoring THE FACT that I am in charge.

And don't get me started on the crappy judges

somebody made me appoint.

Illegal ingrates who rule against me.

I hafta tell ya, they disappoint.

And Goddamned GOP governors …

supposed to be on my side?

Many among them, even some Southerners,

squawk about letting “the voters” decide.

Including the many who voted against me

in early and mail-it-in voting

on “voting” machines rigged by dead Venezuelans.

I know this is true. It's Rudy I'm quoting!

Even Bill Barr (who once was a star),

it turns out denies THE TRUTH

that I was cheated and swindled and robbed.

All because I can proffer no proof.

Proof and facts? I lowered taxes.

Made the economy boom,

saving the jobs of dumb white slobs,

saving the country from Democrat doom.

When China virus tried to expire us

I cancelled flights, I closed the borders,

I drank Clorox. I hydroxychloroquined.

AND I tweeted EXECUTIVE ORDERS.

As you have heard I'm a man of my word.

These assassins and all of their knives,

though they betray me, they can never slay me.

My word is my bond. Ask my bankers. (And wives.)

 

Numb. 1013 These Days

These days spelling, along with arithmetic,

has gone the way of the buggy whip.

Siri, Google, Alexa, Cortana

are gonna tell ya whatever you wanna.

Go ahead, ask 'em any old question

ask for directions, seek their suggestions,

say, “Tell me a story”, “Where in hell am I?”,

“Is that gal — or guy — a Cancer, a Gemini?”

They DO THE MATH. They check your spelling.

Should maybe we wonder where this is going?

They know where you are. They know where you've been.

They know what you do. They know what you spend.

They keep track of you. Your family. Your friends.

They follow you. WITH A ZOOM LENS!

I am not paranoid! But it is annoying.

Not knowing if I'm employed or employing.

Who is the servant? Which is the master?

Is this technology our final disaster?

Is it just me or do our cell phones

look very much like tiny tombstones?