ELECTION SPECIAL EDITION: A Presidential Statement

What if I proclaim I'm still president?

Tweet an executive order:

I, hearby, overrule the election.

I, after all, built THE WALL on the border.

(Shudda done Canada too.

All of those beavers and wolveses and mooses.

And, too, the Carib-boo.  

Or is that Halloween hullabaloo —

Haitian-Canadians who do voodoo?)

Miller and Barr say I've got the power.

I don't need to get re-elected.

Adding my votes from 2016 —

when Biden got zero — I was selected

to serve — and cavort — for four more years

until Covid makes Dems disappear.

Rudy agrees, though FOX distorts.

Still and all, I own the courts.

I smell a plot. A commie tsunami.

I am afraid. I want my mommy,

who was good lookin' and daddy was rich.

I am so screwed. Son. Of. A. Bitch!

Numb. 982 Mission Statement

The BYSTANDER does not preach doom and gloom.

(These days that would be sadistic.)

The BYSTANDER watches, observes, and comments.

The BYSTANDER considers himself realistic.

Well, to the extent he can tell what is real.

Whether it is is the question.

The BYSTANDER neither pre- nor proscribes.

He describes. And gets indigestion.

Reality is in the beholder's eye

which is why people seldom agree

what's good, what's bad, what's fair-to-middling,

whether “reality” means shows on TV.

Progression, regression, recession, depression.

History's arc may be long,

but it does not bend in any direction.

Dr. King, in this instance, was wrong.

History has plodded from day to day 

threw out recorded time.

We examine, we analyze, we cogitate. 

And still we get it all mostly wrong.

It's something to do. It passes the time.

And on a good day it may even rhyme.

Numb. 981 A Patriot's Stream Of Unconsiousness

No son of Liberty would wear a mask.

Absolute freedom is all I ask.

I am free. You tread on me,

I guarantee a shooting spree.

Shoot first. Ask questions later.

My AR-15 is my “debater”.

I fight for my life, my honor, my wealth.

(Let sissy socialists fight for their health.)

If Covid gets me, I'll take it in stride.

I don't need lungs — I've got my pride!

I won't wear a mask, so save your damn breath.

“Give me Liberty. AND give me death.”

Numb. 980 It CAN Happen Here

The Fate of the Nation I fear now hinges

on the unraveling edges of lunatic fringes

with AK-47's and AR-15's

and the mental capacity of pubescent teens,

who worship the president and call you a traitor

for failing to hail this SAD perpetrator.

They everywhere see insidious plots

and plotters who should be summarily shot.

These red-blooded, true-blue, White Patriot men

all favor FOX, they won't watch CNN.

Bullies and blowhards, misfit musketeers

putting the lie to It Can't Happen Here.

Numb. 979 Insurrection Day, 2020

As frequently noted by Mao Zedong,

power flows from the barrels of guns.

With the number of guns in Conservative hands,

these “very fine people” will have some demands

about which votes get counted and which discarded

and who can get shot for a sign in their yard.

When the smoke clears — and there is smoke ahead —

it could be hard to tally the dead, whether from Covid

or blunt force trauma. And come what may, they'll blame Obama.

Numb. 978 Supremes Can't Hurry Roe?

Amy Coney whatzername? Maybe begins with a B?

Is she the last nail in the coffin of the country we'd never be?

With ThomasAlitoGorsuch&Kavanaugh performing just like NSYNC,

the addition of Amy to their samey-samey will likely send us over the brink.

Freed from the need of putting his thumb on the scale for right-leaning side,

John G. Roberts plays referee and can then pretend he's not Roger B. Taney.

Do we need a Supreme Court at all? Or for all that it costs us a Congress?

Has not our president made them all obsolete with excess wisdom and jaundice?

Why, in fact, do we need any law when we daily have steaming tweets

telling us everything we need to know down to the details of what he eats?

Should Supremes not o'erturn Roe, he'll decree it dead, tell them where to go.