Numb. 933 And The Moral Is?

Young Reverand Falwell is not immoral,

Nor, in fact, is he weak.

However, forever wrestling with devils

induced him to think he needed to seek 

the sinner buried somewhere within him. 

Sequestered, he hoped, exceedingly deep.

Saving the nation's immortal soul

has always been his only goal.

Never a charlatan deceiving the chumps,

he is, as you know, a friend of the Trumps.

It would be excessively heinous to revel

in saying he chose to dance with devil.

Though he is a “Virginian”, we have cause to suspect

he “sharecrops” a bit in his marital sex.

Numb. 932 Cyclorama

Life here on Earth would be perfectly fine,

if only it weren't for THEM.

THEY are behind every crime, every problem.

THEY poison all things. THEY are phlegm.

Oh, happy day when THEY’re done away with. 

(By any available means.)

When the world is no longer encumbered

with their corrupted, despicable genes,

when, at long last, we’re free of these dastards,

will we discover we're the real bastards?

Numb. 931 No Time For Optimism

Truly, we do need our optimists*

without whom we would cease to exist.

They insist, gleefully, on keeping on.

They resist knowing when hope is gone.

When a realist would cease and desist,

an optimist will forever persist.

As a pessimist, I am averse

to optimists generally making things worse. 

It is, I’ll admit, a puzzling twist,

that even the best of psychiatrists

cannot free the optimists from their delusion

that there can be — EV-ER! — a happy conclusion.

We’re doomed by the positivists in our midst

They will be the end of us. Class is dismissed.

——————

*We are rational creatures, Professor Jove explained; hope is irrational. We thus set ourselves up for one dispiriting fall after the next. Anger and depression are not diseases or dysfunctions or anomalies; they are perfectly rational responses to the myriad avoidable disappointments that begin in a thoroughly irrational hope….

 …Hitler was the most unabashed doe-eyed optimist of the last hundred years. That's why he was the biggest monster. Have you ever heard of anything as outrageously hopeful as the Final Solution? Not just that there could be a solution—to anything, mind you, while we have yet to cure the common cold—but a final one, no less! Full of hope, the Führer was. A dreamer! A romantic, even, yes? If I just kill this one, gas that one, everything will be okay. I tell you this with absolute certainty: every morning Adolf Hitler woke up, made himself a cup of coffee, and asked himself how to make the world a better place. We all know his answer, but the answer isn't nearly as important as the question. The only thing more naively hopeful than the Final Solution is the ludicrous dictum to which it gave birth. Never Again. How many times since Never Again has it happened again? Three? Four? That we know of, mind you. Mao? Optimist. Stalin? Optimist. Pol Pot? Optimist. Here's a good rule for life…no matter where you happen to live or when you happen to be born: when someone rises up and promises that things are going to be better, run. Hide. Pessimists don't build gas chambers.

—Auslander, Shalom. Hope: A Tragedy.  Riverhead Books. ISBN13: 9781594488382.

Numb. 930 Universal Vote Scare (GOP Strategy and an editorial comment)

From out of the void: an asteroid

is headed our way for Election Day.

But be not afraid, with our border wall,

no tiny space rock can hurt us at all.

It's like the virus, we've heard many say.

Reverend Falwell can pray it away.

No bigger than a small foreign car…

slap on a tariff, it will not get far.

It is a message, a sign from our God,

telling us, “Bow down and be awed

by the magnificence you've been bestowed.”

[Their divine Donnie, their poison toad.

The asteroid's warning he'll be a footnote

if they fail to curtail the minority vote.]

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Numb. 929 Hezbollah, The (other) Party Of God

I do not find it odd that the Party of God

mirrors our own GOP.

When you have believers in charge …

no mystery what the outcome will be.

If Gott IS mit uns, only a dunce

would play on the other side,

to revel with devils and Satanic rebels

denying TRUTH that WILL NOT be denied

by the pure of heart, those unsullied souls,

who’ll follow their God, who’ll do as they're told,

who’ll kill at will, not just for the thrill,

and who’ll accept it as God’s will.

Republican Party or Hezbollah,

Jesus or Allah, we are as we are,

always have been, always will be.

God’s signature species. Humanity.

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Numb. 928 Making Amends

 Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

————————

Justice Thomas insists that words have meaning*.

In this he is perfectly right.

Case in point being the SECOND AMENDMENT

the NRA loves to cite.

This “right” is unique in that it's contingent

on what was true in eighteen-oh-two.

Though gung-ho gun lovers will come unhinged,

the dependency's ended, so we can infringe.

————————

*“When faced with a clash of constitutional principle and a line of unreasoned cases wholly divorced from the text, history, and structure of our founding document, we should not hesitate to resolve the tension in favor of the Constitution's original meaning." — The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court. Jeffrey Toobin. Random House (2007). ISBN 978-0-385-51640-2.

Numb. 927 American Issue Voters (a random sample)

I base my decision on my religion.

I don’t vote for deluded fools

unable to see things as I see them.

That is my hard, fast, inviolable rule.

I will not vote for anyone who isn’t vegan.

I want no part of half-hearted vegetarianism.

If you don’t root for my team, I can not esteem you.

Sorry, but that’s how things are.

If you do not share my skin, eyes, and hair

I can not support you — not on a dare.

If your ancestors came from anywhere

different than mine,

you will not get my vote.

Not one single time.

Under our system it is my right

to vote against anyone not my weight and height.

I suppose you have guessed

I oppose those not of my sex.

Numb. 926 Generating Problems

There are those who say children should be in school.
To which we reply, “Really?"
These inborn immigrants are after our jobs
and though we, truly, do love them dearly,
deep down we know they want to replace us,
take all that is rightfully ours,
that they are planning, if not to erase us,
place us in “rest homes” somewhere on Mars
where we’ll never see our grandchildren again
as we lapse into senility,

while they, ungrateful, live in our houses

and treat us with outright hostility.

So, no, we say. No school for them.

Let them figure it out on their own.

What were we thinking? Why did we breed them?

We want them out of our home!

It costs so to feed them. We do not need them.

Put them in cages somewhere on the border.

Get them out now. THAT IS AN ORDER!